Our Father.........

This weekend concludes Sweet Daddy's fall break. We had planned to celebrate with a weekend away in the mountains. Sweet Daddy and I have been feeling convicted about how much time our kids spend on screens. We have all the limits in place, but it's a constant battle. We reserved a wifi free cabin and decided that we would persevere through the complaining in favor of some intense family time.

Last weekend Peanut came down with a flu like virus. She fevered all week and seemed to get sicker, rather than better. We were hopeful she'd be well by today and able to travel. When the Xman came down with the same virus Wednesday, I knew we were sunk.

We talked about what to do. It was already past the point of getting a full refund on our expense. Should we all stay home, letting Peanut fully recover, giving the Xman's immune system the rest so it can battle, and being home in case someone else fell victim?

We decided to send Sweet Daddy and the Princess.

On a Daddy daughter weekend.

I didn't grow up with a close relationship with my own father. Anyone who knows my college dating history could vouch for that. Textbook daddy issues.

Fatherhood was definitely something we discussed at length before getting married. I already knew Sweet Daddy would be great. I had seen him work with children in many different facets. I had seen him sacrifice his personal goals and wants in favor of family needs. I had seen him love me well.

Sweet Daddy has always prioritized his individual relationship with each of the kids. He's been going on Daddy daughter dates since the Princess could walk. He and the Xman share a love for good food and sporting events. The Princess is his movie companion, always up for wandering through Target for hours. Peanut never turns down a donut or a bike ride at the local park.

He's sewn seeds with each of them in the time he spends with them. He's invested in them.






He sent me this picture this afternoon and it made me smile.

She's reading her book. He's fishing.

There's comfort in the silence that exists there. I can feel it from miles away.

It got me thinking about how I'm often uncomfortable in the silence between me and Jesus.

I ramble on and on, and I don't always feel He answers me.

And in that silence, I'm not peaceful or secure.

I'm panicked and worried.

Unsure.

I was reading this book on reflections on the Lord's Prayer this week. I think the part that always trips me up in the silence is the "Our Father, Who art in HEAVEN."

Not here with me.

I think I feel that space.

18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Jesus tells his disciples I'm not going anywhere - I will always come.

No need to feel panicked and worried.

There's no space between Me and you. 

Mama Warriors, maybe you, like me crave some silence from the children and some direct words from Jesus. Maybe you, like me, aren't sitting patiently in a camp chair soaking His silence. Know that He promises that He will not leave you. He's always there. Even in the silence.

In  a recent sermon I attended, the pastor suggested putting aside what we think prayer ought to look like. And being real. Authentic. Telling our Jesus right where we are. It's not like He doesn't know?

I've started doing that. I pray my feels. My big ugly feelings. I've quit begging for answers or direction or wisdom. I'm just asking Him to sit with me right where I am. Like I'd ask any good friend.

I'm finding the silence isn't so striking. I feel heard. I feel validated. I feel worthy.

Maybe this weekend, just sit with your big feelings. Say, this is where I'm at. And just leave it at that. Sit in your camp chair, soak in the silence. But maybe, just maybe, you won't feel alone.