“I have learned things in the dark that I could never have learned in the light, things that have saved my life over and over again, so that there is really only one logical conclusion. I need darkness as much as I need light.” ― Barbara Brown Taylor
I'm going to confess that today I definitely know why Jesus had to spend 40 days in the wilderness ALONE to process all the big things.
When there's a lot to process, when things feel overwhelming - the people I gave birth to? They keep talking to me. They keep needing things. They keep only thinking about themselves.
Each morning Peanut and I light this candle as we count the 40 days of Lent. We take a moment of silence(ish) to reflect on how Lent is meant to show us our NEED for God.
I've been thinking about Jesus wandering through the wilderness.
And how many times in my life, I have felt that deep loneliness of walking something hard.
I know that we are meant to go THROUGH the wilderness. Not take up camp there.
But what are we meant to learn?
"The wilderness is a place of discipline, development, and honing. A place of ENCOUNTER. A place to see beyond our humanity to the reality of who God is."
We are walking a rocky boundary battle with one of our children.
I keep thinking any day now they are going to say "Oh yes Mom/Dad. I can see how you only want what is best for me. This rule is good for my emotional/mental/physical health."
Yes go ahead and laugh with me (at me?).
No one enjoys someone else placing discipline on you that you will not place upon your self.
A long time parenting motto here has been "Choose to be self disciplined OR chose to be disciplined."
I like to think perhaps God is chuckling a little at how I, too, am not readily saying "Oh I see God. This wilderness wandering is good for me. I don't understand but I'm sure you know what's best."
Much like my own prodigal child I am balking. I know what's best for me?
Right?
Mama Warriors, maybe this time of year feels very Lenty for you as well.
Maybe it feels like a dark wilderness.
Where the house keeps leaking, the dr wants more tests, the children are protesting the rules, the appliances keep breaking, the relationships feel hard. And more.
Know that a time in the wilderness.....
A time of Lent.....
Is meant to remind us of our need.
Is meant to give us a hunger for something that is missing in our lives.
What is your wilderness wandering made you hungry for?
