Show Up. Celebrate. Bring Cake.

 "Grief, as I read somewhere once, is a lazy Susan. One day it is heavy and underwater, and the next day it spins and stops at loud and rageful, and the next day at wounded keening, and the next day numbness, silence." Anne Lamott

My funeral dress is getting entirely too much wear.

4 times in 9 months.

There is this season of life where you attend weddings. Everyone you know is getting married. Half of them want you to wear a hideous expensive dress that regardless of how many times they say you will, you absolutely will never wear again. You cry as the groom sees the bride for the first time. You show up, you celebrate. You eat cake.

There is the season of baby showers. Everyone is having a baby. Open the ridiculous registry of stuff you know they will absolutely never use and you buy something. You can't wait to meet this newest little life. You guess the baby's birthdate or weight. You show up, you celebrate. You eat cake.

There is the season of birthday parties. Every trampoline park, public park, germ infested kid place. You go. It's loud. You take a toy that hopefully makes the most noise ever. You marvel how much the birthday child has grown since the last time you saw them. You smile that authentic ear to ear smile. You show up, you celebrate. You eat cake.

The thing about funerals is that they are a constant of life.

There is no "funeral season" - they appear sometimes with grace and advance notice, other times abruptly and harshly.

As I've sat through (and officiated one) I've been thinking about the event that is a funeral.

What is its purpose?

Each funeral has been vastly different in tradition, location, experience.

But they've all had one thing in common.

People show up and celebrate.

Not the death, but rather the life that was lived.

Not instead of, but in the midst of deep mourning, there is always the sharing of the gift it was to know the deceased.

The legacy that is left behind.

The gift it was to have loved the deceased.

At this most recent funeral, the officiant defined a life well lived.

We often think of a life well lived as something chronological. A calendar. A long life.

But in reality, a life well lived is not based on the number of days we are given.

But rather on what we have done with those days.

It's how we loved others, served others, showed kindness to others.

It's the connections we made.

That's the legacy we leave behind.

Mama Warriors, despite how verbose I always seem here, I am always at a loss for words when I go to fill out a sympathy card.

I've learned as I've stood in all these funerals that the most meaningful thing we can offer someone else is to show up. To celebrate the life of the deceased. To stand in mourning with others.

To take a minute to share the legacy that was left - how did the deceased touch your life? What's the memory that holds on for you?

It will never be "enough" but yet at the same time it absolutely will be appreciated.

Show up.

Celebrate.

Bring cake.

Dig Deeper

 "If we are that certain about everything.....we might be playing God, not following God." Rev Lizzie McManus-Dail

If you are a local friend, you know that the current uproar in our county is over the recent property tax vote and increase.

Until a week ago, no one seemed to be very interested or concerned about property taxes.

I would wager most people only thought about property taxes at most twice a year - when the bill was due, and when the mortgage got adjusted because of increase to either taxes or insurance.

However, in the last week EVERYONE is now a property tax expert. They are pulling records, making videos, and writing op-ed pieces for the local paper.

As happens with social media, people are sharing those posts, videos and pieces without doing any fact checking of their own.

I would assert that most people don't even know how their property tax amount is calculated. (This is fully explained on the county government website including examples)

Most people have no idea just what a "mil" is or what a 2 mil increase actually looks like on their bill. (Spoiler alert your increase is not 20% of your current bill - go do some math)

The "experts" are making accusations without any context or certification.

There is no mention on the posts about whether land is buildable or not, green space or not, easement space or not - my guess is because no one is aware that those factors play into determining property taxes.

The only voices we are hearing are those who are not qualified to speak.

The voices we listen to are important.

And more importantly, I would assert are the voices that we share with others. Because each share gives credibility that may not be due.

I've been thinking about the voices we give credit to.

As I've been choosing spiritual reads over the last year, I've been purposeful to choose books whose authors represent various diversities.

Because what we get out of a book, depends on what we bring to the table. Our own experiences, baggage, education, etc. affects how we read anything.

Including scripture.

I think we often don't check the credentials of the authors who we digest but also those who we share.

We aren't careful to make sure the voices we are listening to collectively represent all.

If your only source of commentary on the bible comes from white American men, I'd assert that you don't have the full picture.

Similarly, if your only source of information on your property taxes comes from a citizen in his 15 minutes of fame making videos, I'd assert that you don't have the full picture.

Mama Warriors, I still stand by the fact that as a community we are information rich and wisdom poor.

Take that article that you read about a specific bible verse and find other voices on the subject. Dig deeper.

Take information and turn it into wisdom.

Before you hit share on some local controversy, read the other side. Find other voices on the subject. Dig deeper.

And remember that you are talking about people without talking to people.

There's a bible verse about that.

One More

 "To love God is to love a holy mystery." Rev Lizzie McManus-Dail

Yesterday Peanut and I went to church to pray for a passing church member and his family.

Could we have prayed for these people from our home? Absolutely.

But this year my homeschool goal of the year is "One More."

I want to challenge Peanut and I to do "one more" act than is our default.

It was okay to pray for this family from home.

It was "one more" to drive to the church and sit with others who were praying for them as well.

This week as I read Governor Kemp's statement after the horrific event at Fort Stewart, I held my breath waiting for it.

Yep, there it was.

"We are keeping the victims, their families, and all those who answer the call to serve in our hearts and prayers, and we ask that Georgians everywhere do the same."

Hearts and prayers.

Thoughts and prayers.

That's okay.

Where's the "one more?"

I think in our hearts we all want to do the "one more."

But we get stuck because we aren't sure what to do.

Or we ask "What can I do?"

And the person says "Oh, we're fine."

So we send the thoughts and prayers.

I'm not saying prayers aren't good.

I'm just asserting that prayer should lead you to action.

Jesus did prayed.

But then Jesus acted.

Prayer should lead you to showing up with the meal, taking a turn on the hospital visitation, getting involved in local politics, showing up on an outreach team, etc.

Prayer should make you want to do the one more.

Mama Warriors, my own inner and loose outer circle is struggling. There's so much need.

It's not enough to just pray for all the things.

It's a beginning.

But not the end.

One more.

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