Advent's call to Action

 "The first advent revealed that leaning into God's coming justice puts people at odds with society's and religion's definitions of holiness. Advent just might make life harder." Kelly Nikondeha

A couple of years ago Peanut came to me one morning with the big Christmas question.

"Is Santa real?"

The science lover in her had been circling the question for a few years. Making hypotheses, investigating, asking questions. I always avoided answering by returning questions with questions.

Peanut is a lover of all things magical. While many little girls enjoyed playing with dolls, Peanut did not. She played with unicorns and fairies. Peanut devoured books of great fantasy such as Wings of Fire about a clan of great dragons. She developed a love for role playing games and consistently is creating new fantastical characters. Peanut's favorite Christmas movie is the NIghtmare Before Christmas.

Peanut lived into the magic of Christmas. She woke every morning to find the elf. She leaned into all the stories about Santa. I knew this question was going to shift her holiday experience.

We talked for a bit - what do you think? What would that mean if he was? What if he wasn't?

Finally I looked at Peanut and asked her if she really wanted to know the truth.

Sometimes, it's okay to tuck that little questioning nugget aside because once you know truth - it forces you to embrace it. It nags at you. It colors how you see the world.

Peanut insisted she was ready. She needed truth.

So then came the big conversation about all the things magic by the light of the Christmas tree. About the heart behind it.

And then came the total devastation of childhood.

Well- at least for the moment. Peanut flipped out. "WHY did you tell me?"

Um, because you asked?

These are the things they don't cover in the parenting books.

We worked through this new information over a few days. Then Peanut came to me and asked, "Could you just pretend I don't know?"

Being days from Christmas, I just said yes because .........December.

Last year, I explained to Peanut that we could participate in the magic fun while still knowing the truth. The elf could move and occasionally bring a Christmas treat and we could all know it was me.

And we could let other families enjoy the magic, or not, but it wasn't our place to make that decision.

As I move this little elf again this year, Snowflake is her name, I've been thinking about this idea of knowing truth.

Once I know something to be true I'm tasked with doing something with that information.

And that can feel hard and overwhelming.

Advent reminds us that truth comes with a cost.

The birth of this baby shook the political systems of the day. And should continue to shake them now.

The birth of this baby should cause us to speak up when the values He stands for are being run over by people in power.

Advent is not an ending.

It's a beginning.

A call for justice and mercy and hope and love.

Mama Warriors, I think we are all working to teach our kids truth as we know it.

I think where we may all be struggling is that truth calls us into action.

As we load the local food pantry closets, I remind Peanut - we do this because we are called to help those in need.

As we volunteer to tutor kids in reading and literacy, I remind Peanut - we do this because we are called to help those who are struggling.

As we stop and hand a blanket to a displaced person in a parking lot, I remind Peanut - we do this because we are called to help those without homes.

Advent calls us into action.

It reminds us of the mission.

ReImagine the Holidays

 "Blessed are we who work without seeing the end,

who plant seeds and trust God with the growing.

Blessed are we who find freedom in the unfinished,

and peace in the stubborn promise of hope." Kate Bowler

In the last year, our family experienced 3 deaths between Thanksgiving and Easter.

In that same time period, we moved SD's dad into a hospice facility as his dementia and health had rapidly declined.

Last year the holidays were a survival mode.

This year as we approached the holidays we had to figure out what this new normal looks like.

Our first Thanksgiving together in 1998 we attended 6 Thanksgiving events. In two days.

Over the years we've shifted what "tradition" looks like and I'll be honest, the tradition is that we don't spend Thanksgiving all together.

Let's be honest, lots of people is not everyone's cup of tea. And we don't leave every family function feeling warm and cozy vibes.

We've learned over the years that even just the 5 of us do better with outdoors or an activity than a stressful meal around the table.

This year I knew we needed a change.

We decided as a family to reimagine Thanksgiving.

We skipped the traditional Thanksgiving all together.

And it was everything our family needed this year.

I want to gift our kids a holiday season that does not feel like a burden.

I want them to never feel like a Thursday in November at 1 to eat this specific thing is what is expected of them.

I want them to have the freedom to balance all the "musts" of the holiday season.

We booked 4 days in a cabin in Helen.

We gave our kids the dates and told them they were welcome anytime just to let us know when/if they planned on coming so we could prepare for meals and activities.

Thanksgiving Day SD, Peanut and I watched the Thanksgiving parade in our pjs. We ate a leisurely pancake breakfast. We went for a wonderful walk. We *might* have eaten a very large pretzel for lunch. We grilled out hamburgers. We lounged in the hot tub. We laughed at our crazy dog.

On Friday our big kids joined us for the day. We rode the Mountain coaster (and by we, I mean them), shopped in town, attended the lighting of the Village, and lingered over a meal with live music.

Thanksgiving. Reimagined.

Mama Warriors, as many of us shift into this new season of parenthood with adults who have work schedules, friend/relationship commitments, their own visions of holidays, I encourage you not to be afraid to reimagine.

To make space for the idea that maybe time together is enough and it can look different. It can be on a different day.

The holidays are a SEASON.

Not just two days in November and December.

Maybe you ask your people what portions of the holidays are their favorite and you get that on your calendar and you let go of the expectations that holidays will look the same year to year.

Maybe reimaging becomes the new normal.

Maybe pretzels are the new Thanksgiving food.