Seek to Understand

 "The quieter you become, the more you can hear." Ram Dass

Yesterday morning I learned that the monks route had shifted and they would be walking within a half mile of my house. Peanut and I donned our walking shoes and walked up to see them walk by.

As we waited the hour in the gas station parking lot, we met so many kind people.

Peanut and I had talked about how the monks are so concerned about the divisiveness in our country that they took to action.

By putting one foot in front of the other, they are bringing awareness.

As I perused the internet last night, I learned that the rest of our community did not greet the monks with such respect and kindness.

There were people with megaphones "preaching" at them while they were talking. People with signs filled with hate. People yelling about how they were going to hell.

To say I'm disappointed in our community is an understatement.

But what I'm really saddened by is that our community represented themselves this way in the name of Jesus.

We apparently don't read the same Gospels.

If I was faithless at one of these events, I'm given the option of Buddhism which is promoting peace, love, joy, kindness, respect. And Christianity which is promoting fear, hate, judgement.

This was not a "let me tell you about my Jesus" through my respectful actions and kind words vibe.

Perhaps people are going out in droves to see the monks because they are desperate for something that looks different than the Christian Nationalism being displayed today.

In our home we have a mantra - "Seek to understand."

We want our kids to be curious and not judgmental.

Don't assume someone doesn't love Jesus because they went to see the monks.

Be curious. Seek to understand.

Look for similarities.

From a curious posture, we allow room for connections.

If you want to someone to follow Jesus, you are going to have to invest in their life. You are going to have to begin by seeking to understand. Where do they come from? What religious experiences do they have? What church trauma is in their baggage?

If you are trying to sell someone on a faith based on forgiveness and love, starting with judgement and fear seems like the wrong path.

Mama Warriors, I, like the monks, have deep concerns about the status of our community and the larger nation.

We have become a community that focuses on differences rather than similarities. We've become a community that focuses on judgement rather than curiosity. We've become a community that is breeding hate instead of love.

And thus, we are raising kids who don't know how to have hard conversations. We are raising kids who don't look first for connections, but rather begin with judgements. We are raising kids that focus more on being right than righteous.

Let's seek to understand.

Let's raise kids who seek to understand.

Christmas Challenge

 "We see what we know how to see. We also see what we want to see. Those limitations keep us from finding what we need." Monica DiCristina

Today I saw our UPS driver for the first time since the holidays. He asked "Did you have a good Christmas?"

I say yes because I think that's the right response. It's definitely the easy response. The "yes you can go on your way" response.

What I would say if our UPS driver had 45 minutes is that Christmas is at best complicated.

I'm not sure what defines a "good Christmas." If you ask most kids, the immediate thought is "did they get a gift they loved?"

So, yes I received a thoughtful gift.

If you ask most adults, you're asking "did you spend time with people you love?"

So, yes I spent time with people I loved.

Sometimes Christmas becomes this checklist. Did I go to all the things? Did I prepare all the meals? Did we show up for all the events? Was there magic made by December 25th?

So, yes. Gifts were bought. Events were attended. Magic was made.

This year I raised the bar in what I asked of myself mentally. I challenged myself to dig deeper into the advent story. I challenged myself to attend church all of the services during Advent. I challenged myself to wrestle with the story of advent in the contextually appropriate historical and cultural context.

I realized this year that Christmas is this challenge.

It is this opportunity to pause for a moment and look at the biblical story of corruption in power, of discrimination against the immigrant, the deep divide between the wealthy and the poor. The damage done when an empire is run by egotistical fear.

When we tell the Advent story in children's plays - no one plays King Herod.

King Herod's role and the subsequent role of the Magi are interconnected.

We leave him out I think because it's not pretty.

It causes us to look in the mirror.

If we only leave the "good characters" in the story, we look in the mirror and see only the good.

If we are challenged to look at the people in power, we might find a glimpse of ourselves in them. We might have to reckon with some unpleasantness amongst the lights and pretty wrapped gifts.

I think we would often like to have the AI version of Christmas. The one cleaned up, brushed off, made to look like an "All American Christmas."

Mama Warriors as you begin (or continue) to take down the decorations (unless you are Episcopal/Anglican and those babies stay up until Epiphany), I hope you hold a bit of the Christmas story year round.

I hope you feel the need to wrestle with and to think about ALL the characters in the Christmas story.

I hope you use each character as a mirror.

When you read these bible stories with your kids, ask the question- Whose story is being told? Whose is missing?