Father's Day

 "Suffering is the universal experience of all humanity. Suffering doesn't mean you're cursed, it means you are human. The question isn't " Why is there suffering in my life?" but "Why wouldn't there be suffering?" Because such is life in a broken world. The question is "But what way will you BEAR your suffering?"

This picture was taken in October of 1975. In the search for pictures of my father and I, I found very few.

I noticed in this picture that he's not even holding me. Without context, a small thing I guess. I don't remember ever being hugged, held or comfortable in his presence.

I'd wager my mother set him up to feed me just so she could take this picture.

As I have gotten older, I've learned that relationships are tricky are best.

As much as we think we love our people unconditionally, I find that human love is never really unconditional.

There are always conditions.

We get to decide what our boundaries are and what conditions we can live with. And what conditions we can not.

The lesson my father taught me by default is that I am worthy of being loved.

Not because he loved me in a way I understood, but because I learned what love doesn't look like for me.

Having grown up with both great grandparents and grandparents, I knew my father loved the way he was loved.

And I knew that wasn't how I wanted to love or be loved.

Mama Warriors, for many of us Father's Day is this tricky thing.

Maybe your father relationship is/was a tricky one too. Maybe your kids are navigating a tricky relationship with their own father.

Maybe you too struggle with the idea of unconditional love of a Father because you've never seen anything like it in action.

Gift yourself space today to grieve what wasn't/isn't.

It doesn't make you any less grateful for the positive father mentors in your life.

It just makes you real.