Stand Out Summers

 “Kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.” Wonder

As I began to think about our 5th grade year, I knew I wanted to begin by reading Wonder with Peanut.

For those who haven't read Wonder (you should....) - it's about a 5th grade boy, Auggie, with a facial deformity and his experience in school for the first time.

The story is told from the viewpoint of multiple narrators so you experience each characters thoughts/feelings as they meet/interact with Auggie.

Peanut and I decided to use our "emoji" approach to the book. When we read something sad, we marked that section with a frowning face. When we were surprised, a face with an open mouth. And so on.

Books are a great springboard to discuss hard topics with your kids.

One of the conversations Peanut and I had as we read this book was we looked for characters who were "accepting" versus those who were "affirming."

Accepting characters are ones who were not mean to Auggie BUT they also were not kind to him.

Affirming characters are ones who reached out to Auggie - met him where he was at, and stood there with him.

Accepting people aren't the problem however they are also not the solution.

They are neutral ground.

In the book, Charlotte is accepting of Auggie. She gives him a tour of the school when asked by an adult. She isn't outwardly mean to him.

Many people would consider Charlotte kind. Auggie, and I think Jesus, would not.

Summer is affirming of Auggie. With no prompting, Savannah sits with Auggie purely so he won't be alone at lunch. She takes time to get to know him. She treats him like any other 5th grader - sometimes teasing him, sometimes laughing with him, and always standing up for him.

Summer is kinder than necessary.

I think as a community we lean toward acceptance rather than affirmation.

We aren't the ones who are racist, bigots, homophobic, etc. - we aren't causing the hate.

But we also aren't standing up for those on the receiving end of the hate.

I feel like for all the WWJD bracelets and bumper stickers I still see - that we should be a community in action for affirmation.

We should be stand out Summers in a world of Charlottes.

Mama Warriors, it's not enough to tell our kids not to be mean or ugly to someone who is different from them in any way.

We have to teach them to be kinder than necessary.

If we want to change the world, we have to raise children who let no one eat lunch alone.