We as a Pronoun

 "We stretch by reaching toward each other by reaching out from the solo act into the plural. We, the pronoun God loves most. Life is long, the feast is wide, and we are meant for keeping it together. Our hearts are a muscle made in the image of God made for connection, and there are so many ways of being kindred."

—Stephanie Duncan Smith, Even After Everything

The last six weeks have been a hard blur.

Forgive me as we travel back through them because writing about things is how I process them.

In between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Peanut and I had the flu.

Like a full 9 days at home, high fevers, so sick you cry. The flu.

She missed all the things the last week of school. Missed presenting her science project. Missed handing out her gifts at school. Missed all the things we had planned.

Peanut showed symptoms about 24 hours before I did.

Our tradition is anytime she is sick - I bunk in her room with her.

Is her twin bed the most comfortable one in my house?

Absolutely not. In fact I'm pretty sure her mattress was mine as a kid.

Are endless preteen dramas my favorite thing to watch?

Definitely not.

In her journal entry from that time she writes:

"When I am sick I enjoy drawing. So I draw while my mom reads her favorite book. Then we will watch Christmas specials together."

"We" is a pretty powerful pronoun.

I can not fix all the viral stuff we get.

I typically can't even help Peanut feel that much better.

But what I can do is make sure she isn't alone.

I can sit with her in the hard, in the sickness, in the pain, in the uncomfortable.

I can make it a "we" time.

I am most definitely going to get whatever she has once we live in a 10 by 10 room together while she's fevering.

Almost every time.

The choice becomes me or Peanut right?

Do I do what is best for me or what is best for her?

All too often I think we weigh the possible cons for us without weighing the definite pros for someone else.

The last six weeks I've sat in lots of rooms as people, including myself, processed their grief over the death of my stepfather.

Would it have been easier for me not to be in those rooms?

Most certainly.

It would have been easier for me to step away and process on my own without also juggling the needs and grief of others.

But the cons for me should rarely outweigh the pros for someone else.

Mama Warriors, at church each Sunday as part of our prayers I say the words

"Most merciful God, we confess that we sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry."

I've been thinking about this during the Christmas season.

What we have left undone.

I think of the rooms I have not sat in as I should have because they make me uncomfortable.

Maybe in 2025, we leave less things undone.

Maybe in 2025, we love our neighbor as ourself.

Maybe in 2025, we make "we" the prominent pronoun.