Build the Bridge

 "It's impossible not to find something likeable in everyone if we get to know them deeply." Lori Gottlieb

Each month my book club rotates who gets to pick the book of the month. Last month, one of our members picked "Legends and Lattes."

I'm going to confess - it's not a book I would have ever picked on my own. I'm not a huge fantasy reader (Fourth Wing aside) and I tend to get my book recommendations from various blogs I subscribe to which don't have a fantasy focus.

However, part of joining a book club is to stretch yourself and read things that may be outside of your comfort zone. It's design is such that you read things you may not grab off a shelf and then you discuss it.

When someone picks a book - that particular book/genre/theme says something about that person. It nods to what they find important or what they enjoy.

I read this book because the PERSON who picked the book is important to me. I read it so I could get a glimpse into why she chose it.

I feel like as moms we are pretty good at this skill within our own people.

At least once a day I take a tour of a Minecraft house that I have ZERO desire to see. But my kid is currently in a Minecraft house building phase and so into it I step.

My kid is important to me and so I step into her world. Willingly. With respect and curiosity.

I ask questions about the house. I "notice and name" - "Wow, this house has cool windows that open." (notice) "You are very creative." (name).

I do feel like though we struggle with this with the people outside our house.

We only want to do, talk about or participate in what WE want to.

If we don't step into other people's lives and experience their world, we will never fully understand each other.

And we will never know each other deeply.

And because we don't know each other deeply, we become a society divided constantly.

Our differences would seem less large if we found common ground.

We also send the message to others in our lives "What I want is more important than you."

The kids I tutor are more important than what I want so I sit through countless readings of books about Hawkeye and Dogman.

And when I sit while they read to me, I get to learn a little about what makes us the same. We all like a good laugh.

The older ladies at church are more important than what I want so I participate in listening about their garden or their grandchild.

And when I sit while they talk to me, I get to learn a little about what makes us the same. We all have a love for others.

Mama Warriors, as I continue to watch our community become more and more divided, I can't help but think connection will be what saves us.

Connection is built through stepping into someone else's world with respect and curiosity.

It's reading that book club book and wondering - where do I see myself in this book? Where might the one who chose it see themselves?

I think it's easy (sometimes) to put others first when we are in a serving frame of mind.

But what if we approached every day as an opportunity to bridge the gaps?

What if we laid boards on the bridge instead of digging the hole?