Grace for Growth

 "Loving your child by filling them with all your fears doesn't really get you anywhere" Amy Betters Midtvedt

Let me introduce you to 12.

12 is the "Actually" phase. No matter what I say, the child responds with "Actually Mom, it's.........." followed by some miniscule correction. Such as "Oh - what a pretty blue sky." ...."Actually Mom it's azure."

12 is the "Do I look okay?" FYI there is no correct answer to that. If I say "yes, of course." The response is "Ugh you are just saying that because you are my mom." If I say "I think a different shirt might work better." The response is "Ugh you don't know anything about fashion."

12 is forever the "in between" years.

12 is "Look at me Mom" as you rate the jump or flip for the 100th time.

12 is also the "Don't look at me. Ugh." Because somehow my thoughtful smile is now offensive.

12 is growing and stretching and nothing feels quite right.

I have this deep empathy for 12.

I think the 40's might just be 12 in disguise again.

On this side of 50 (woo hoo welcome a new decade) , I see a lot of 12 in the last decade.

This growing and stretching and being not quite comfortable in your own mind, body or soul.

This trying to figure out now that the kids are (mostly) grown (let's laugh), some people do their own laundry, people drive themselves places.........what now?

Turns out if you aren't always on the go, if you slow down - you might find that your soul is unsettled.

Your "Sunday school religion" might not fit you well anymore.

The group of friends you've done life with may not be in the same season anymore.

Maybe the job, the house, the places you go just aren't "yours" anymore.

You just might be in between.

And in between is uncomfortable.

I'll take my comfort zone over new any day of the week.

Mama Warriors, I think sometimes the bravest thing we can do is to admit something isn't working.

To give words to what we know somewhere in our gut.

And then........set it free.

And while we are in between, feeling out of my place in our skin, let's be kind to ourselves.

Grace for growth.

And maybe, let's have a little grace for growth for the "actually in between" phase of 12 too.