Cobweb Gloves

 "Do your best to begin releasing your expectation around who your kids will become. Let them be their own people, even now. The sooner you can begin to let go of who you think they will be or should be, the more deeply you will enjoy the process of parenting them." Emily P Freeman

This week Peanut and I ordered a dress for her to wear to the fall dance next month.

I will confess when she tried it on I wasn't sure if it was a dance dress, a Halloween costume, or if she was attending some gothic fashion show.

But I when I looked at her face - it doesn't really matter.

She has this vision beginning with these Spiderman designed shoes and that's all the matters.

When I drop her off at this dance in a few weeks, there will be a host of kids who look "cute." Who have some adorable dress with matching shoes. Who will look like a 13 year old going to a middle school dance.

And Peanut will look like Peanut dressed herself.

There's freedom in embracing who your kids actually are and not who you, or anyone else, thinks they *should* be.

I wish thing 1 and thing 2 had the benefit of my wisdom now but alas I needed them to get to where I am.

This palms up parenting I call it.

Open hands.

I've stopped holding on so tightly to every small detail and started trusting that I'm just not that important.

Peanut will blossom into whoever she is intended to be if I don't get in her way.

So she wears all black to church most weeks. Spiderman shoes too. But she reads scripture, sings in the choir and serves with a joyful heart.

She pushes back on ALL THE THINGS. So many questions. But she's a warrior for justice and mercy, she's kind and she's a voracious learner.

Her room is a hot mess. And the backpack. And the floorboard of where she sits in the car. But she's creative, resourceful and has an eye for the big picture much more than details.

I don't know what the future holds for Peanut.

Palms up.

Open hands.

I trust that whatever comes the most important thing will be her character.

Trusting in that respecting the dignity of every human being applies to her.

Mama Warriors, for years I absolutely hated parenting my kids with an audience. I found myself reacting to things I would never react to in the privacy of our home because I felt I was being judged for responses.

Or making decisions based on what I thought others might think.

The thing is so much of what we end up caring about when it comes to our kids is related to how other people will view them - will view us.

And I'm embracing that perhaps what is societally acceptable isn't what I want for her.

I encourage you to embrace what makes your kids who they are.

Especially the things that make them different because those are the characteristics that they most need to feel embraced and loved for.

So when you're asked to buy cobweb gloves to match the perfect dress, you just say yes.