Data

 "Those most qualified to speak the gospel are those who truly know how unqualified they are to speak the gospel."

Last week I went to the dermatologist to have a few things checked out. The last time I had been, I was covered in hives and the doctor and I both decided that it wasn't a good time to discuss other potential issues.

We needed to get the blazing fire under control before we could discuss anything else.

As the doctor addressed a few things I was concerned about, she came upon a spot I was not.

"Hmmm...I don't like the look of this. Can we biopsy it?"

I said yes prior to seeing the needle involved.

I left with a piece of paper detailing wound care and a note saying "don't call us, we'll call you. 10- 14 days."

I seem to navigate a good bit of my life in the waiting space.

I woke the next day and wondered, "How worried am I?"

I'm working on changing the soundtracks I tell myself. My knee jerk response to this is "VERY WORRIED." It's been 4 years (at least) since I've had all the moles checked. That particular spot was there 3 years ago when I went in for the hives. By the time I got the hives very under control, there was the pandemic.

I didn't prioritize having all the checks. What if it is something that I could have caught 3 years ago if I had gone in for that follow up visit suggested?

I should really make some master notebook of how to run our home, pay our bills, do things like find the kid's dentist.

The spiral continues.

I remind myself to stop.

I put on my shoes. I wrestle the wild dog into his harness and leash.

I put one foot in front of the other.

"It's all fine until the data says otherwise."

It's not a super catchy mantra. But I put one foot in front of the other and decide to chose.

"It's all fine until the data says otherwise."

I'm wondering how many things I could check off my worry list with that mantra.

The dishwasher isn't draining properly. BUT the dishes are still clean every time I run it.

It's all fine until the dishes are dirty after I run it.

The new math curriculum is challenging. It's taking longer to complete. The student is occasionally dramatic.

It's all fine until the test scores say it isn't working.

Sometimes our curiosity, our intellect, our access to information is too overwhelming.

We lose that ability to just say "It's all fine until the data says otherwise."

Google says maybe this might happen.

But has it?

Mama Warriors, maybe you are a master overthinker like me. If they gave degrees for that, I'd definitely have a doctorate.

I'm finding by making space to rewrite the soundtrack in my mind, that I'm making space for Jesus to speak to me.

In the space where I exhale, It's all fine...........He assures me, yes, child. It's all fine.

And sometimes, when you are putting one foot ahead of another and chasing the dog, the dermatologist calls and says, "It's all fine. The data says so."