I Respect Your Decision

 "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression or denial of my humanity and right to exist." Robert Jones Jr.

As Peanut and I have visited different churches over the last few months, she has started to ask some BIG questions.

She's wrestling with questions her mother didn't have until her mid 30s.

If each church has a different take on Jesus, and a different way to do ALL the things, then who is right?

How do we know which set of legalism is the RIGHT way?

Does God care about the logistics of what church looks like?

I have realized, in Peanut's eyes, the presentation of Jesus looks very different in every church. Even if their "mission" reads similarly.

I've been treading shaky ground as I affirm for Peanut what I believe but acknowledge that she gets to chose what she believes.

And what that looks like.

I recognize that this would be very hard for a lot of parents.

It was hard for me but not because I worried about her not believing what I believe.

But because I wanted to make sure I balanced presenting my faith to her with making space for her to ask questions, challenge teachings and arrive at her own conclusions.

It's also very important to me that Peanut recognize that we do not judge what others believe.

I will not participate in scaring Peanut into believing in Jesus with some hell and damnation sermon.

This week I went round 2 with Xfinity customer service. Apparently Omkar last time sold me an upgraded service, I paid for an upgraded service, but no one actually provided us with - you guessed it, an upgraded service.

This time when Goureau and I went rounds, he tried to sell me something I do not want.

I declined.

Goureau politely replied "I respect your decision."

For all the faults of my cable company, I give props to Goureau for not trying to push me into something I did not, and do not, want to buy.

The best answer we can give those who disagree with us is "I respect your decision."

And then act like it.

Mama Warriors, I firmly believe we have to teach our kids to respect the decisions of others.

And the best way to do that is to model respecting theirs.

By gifting our kids the opportunity to wrestle and ask questions, to make choices and to live out the consequences of those choices - we offer them the ability to really OWN whatever they chose to believe.

For those who like to know how things turned out, Peanut spent a few days trying to figure out if she believed in God.

If there were so many differences in the logistics, whose to say someone else doesn't have it right and we have it wrong?

She prayed, she asked questions, she decided she wanted to make space for the Jesus of our home in her heart.

She'd go to churches and she'd learn, and play, and join in community.

But how she worships would be something between her and Jesus and she asked him to live in her heart with her while she walked this journey.

I'd like to think we got here because rather than insist or push Peanut to believe what I believe, I made space for "I respect your decision."

In the end the ball was never really in my hands anyway.

I'm thankful I got invited to play the game.