Between Two Doors

 God never expects us to answer a question he has not yet asked. He always speaks with clarity." Father Mike

22 years ago today I stood outside these doors in a white dress I still love.

These doors lead into the chapel. As I peeked through the bits of glass, I could see SD standing on the altar. Waiting for me.

What you can't see in this picture is there is a set of doors behind me. They lead outside.

My stepdad and I stood in between these doors for a bit. He looked at me and said "We don't have to go through those doors. We can go out these. Get a drink. It's your choice."

I know he would have been totally fine with either set of doors. He wanted me to have the opportunity to make this decision. Even if it was in the very last moment.

It's a funny story we like to tell now. Well, SD still isn't sure it's so funny .

I was thinking about that moment this week. How I can be absolutely sure that I CHOSE to marry SD. I chose the hand carved beautiful doors. I knowingly walked through them. Ready.

That may be the last moment I remember being totally sure of which door to pick.

I've carried that moment into parenting.

It's important to me that my kids know it's NEVER too late to pick the other door.

Feel like this high school isn't right for you at the end of your junior year? You don't have to go back for your senior year.

Played 3 years of a varsity sport but feel like this last year you want time/space to do other things? You don't have to do something just because you always have.

Sometimes it also means walking through the door with them because they CHOSE that even if I feel its the wrong choice.

Even if I prayed for a different choice.

Even if I want something for them I feel is "better."

Once they say "this is the door" - it's getting on board.

This is where the train is going. So I'm either taking in the scenery or I'm going to miss the ride.

Over the years we've welcomed several children into our home whose parents are missing the train ride. Who've dug in their heels or this issue or that. Who've decided their version of religion, truth, or what's societally "acceptable" is more important than loving their kid well.

My heart breaks for those moms and dads. For those kids.

So I plant deep seeds in Peanut. Preparing the way.

No matter what, I will love you.

No matter what, You are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image.

No matter what, I will show up.

Mama Warriors, Peanut and I are walking through a mom/daughter devotion series and yesterday I was struck by my reading. The author said if you think your child is too young for the big conversations - you are probably wrong.

The time is BEFORE anyone else mentions the new vocabulary.

You want to be the first one to give information because then you are the source. You are the person who can talk about big uncomfortable things.

So that when they face two sets of doors, they will want you to be by their side.

And they will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will walk through either door with them.