One Moment

 "Assume the best and be curious about the rest."

Yesterday we found ourselves in the Athens area for a funeral visitation. Several people asked me how I knew the deceased......the easy answer is we stood in many parking lots together over the years waiting on kids. For we were the moms who showed up on time picking up kids who never were ready on time.

The more complicated answer is that for a bit our health journeys mirrored each other. She gave me doctor and supplement recommendations. But more importantly to me she was an empathetic listener.

"Yes, it's hard to be a wife, mom, a friend and be this sick."

"Yes, it's frustrating to see doctor upon doctor and no one has a plan that works. "

She lingered with me even when conversation was challenging.

What a gift. A legacy of love that runs deep and wide.

After the visitation we wandered further into Athens to what my kids call the "big library."

Peanut had not been to the big library that she remembered. Her last trip was 2015. She was barely 2.

We pulled into the library parking lot and that 2015 trip came rushing back.

I had taken Peanut for her 2 year old well visit in Watkinsville. I always tried to make those trips special for the big kids that tagged along. I took them to CFA for lunch, to Menchies for dessert, to the park to run off the wiggles and finally to the "big library" for new books, audio books, and DVDs.

One of mine mentioned to me once that they remember those trips. Not because of all the fun I tried to provide.

But because on this particular trip, the May of 2015, I lost my temper in the parking lot.

I was thinking yesterday as I stood in that parking lot how perspective really is singular.

In order to make those big fun trips - I didn't eat for 24 hours before the trip. I took a single coke that I sipped on to keep blood sugar up and my stomach settled.

Those big trips were really hard for me. The distance from home. Having all 3 kids out solo.

One perspective is that there is never any grace or space for the Mom right? We are supposed to be all rainbows and sunshine making the memories all the time.

Another perspective is to be grateful that this child, in that time and space, didn't know I needed grace? This child didn't know these simple things that I used to do without thinking had become difficult.

As I reflected yesterday in that parking lot, I realized that in the moment in 2015 - I apologized but I didn't repair.

I said I was sorry but I didn't have the hard conversation that would have allowed us all to have grace and space for our reactions.

Mama Warriors, I think we have to remember our children are sturdier than we give them credit for.

They are worthy of having age appropriate information. For feeling a part of the challenge rather than a nervous spectator.

They are worthy of us LINGERING in the mess of a bad moment so that the bad moment stays just that. A bad moment.

One single moment that doesn't overshadow a wealth of evidence that life goes otherwise.