People Matter

 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things but only ONE thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 41-42

The Princess and I like to watch TV shows together. Each season, we find a new set of folks who become our tribe. We walked Gilmore Girls, Parenthood, This is Us, and this season we added A Million Little Things.

"Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things."

In the show, a group of friends do life together. Hard things. In the last episode we watched, one of the characters finds out about some struggles a friend is having. She starts out angry the friend didn't tell her about these struggles. But then, she says to her friend something like this:

"I'm sorry. You were struggling and I should have seen that. I should have seen YOU struggling and helped."

I've been soaking that thought for the last week or so.

Yesterday, the preacher said we are called to be FULLY present to the presence of Jesus. And He calls us to be fully present to the presence of others.

I've been soaking those two thoughts.

I think in our relationships with others, we are often Martha. We listen, but we are quick to offer advice, make suggestions, share a similar experience.

We are busy DOING.

We are not the Mary that we need.

We are called to BE.

We don't sit and LISTEN. We are not FULLY present. We don't see the struggles.

Our people don't need us to do anything more than acknowledge that their hard is hard.

We have to summon the courage to be vulnerable. To be authentic.

I think we talk because we are afraid to feel. We're offering sympathy from the top of the hole, rather than climbing into the cave and offering empathy.

I think we've become so self absorbed that we don't see the struggling.

We are busy chatting about the surface that we never get to discussing the heart.

I have a friend who asks me "How's your heart today?

I know she's opening the door for me to share where I'm at. She doesn't want the laundry list of what I've DONE. She wants to know where I'm at with what is going on.

There's value in that kind of relationship.

Because if we don't ask the right questions, we'll never be FULLY present in that relationship.

Mama Warriors, it's hard to listen in the noise of today. We're busy "serving" our families. I challenge you to DO less and BE more. I challenge you to say less and listen more. I challenge you to be fully present in your relationships.

Because that one thing that Mary knew? She knew connection matters. Relationships matter.

People matter.

Let's know each other so intimately that we are the one who says "I see you struggling. You are loved."

Originally published 11/5/2018