Addition Over Division

 "Christianity has drifted from a faith of substance to a faith of perception." The Divine Commodity

One of the things I learned from the great gastro crisis is how important ALL the check ups are.

I have an auto immune disorder, a gastro disorder, and a body that endured a lot in the last decade.

I also have a genetics history that makes it irresponsible to avoid physicals. My mom and aunt have had breast cancer. My dad died of cancer. I have two grandmothers who had cancer. Diabetes runs deep. Addiction deeper.

I have a composition notebook that goes with me to every appointment. And a two pocket folder.

I've learned the only advocate for ME is ME.

I write down all my questions and concerns before I ever arrive at the doctor's office. I take notes while he/she talks. I ask for copies of things I can't access in portals online.

In May I went to a new doctor about some new concerns I have.

I shared my concerns and basically she said "Oh yeah......that happens." And then the appointment was over.

And I let it be.

I left there irritated.

Not with her.

But with ME.

Only ME knows how these symptons/issues affect ME. Only ME knows how my daily life is impacted by them.

So last week I took myself back to this office. I said "I'm sorry. I wasn't clear about how serious I feel these issues are. Or how they impact my daily life."

And she kindly listened, brainstormed, and sent me with referrals, medications, and suggestions. And a follow up appointment to make sure I was experiencing an improvement in these areas.

I felt seen and heard because I advocated for ME.

Over the last week, I've watched as ugliness continues to spread in our community. Gloating on one side. Mourning on the other.

And I've watched as our community has failed to make space for both. Equally.

I don't know when division became the more prominent operation in our community.

Maybe it was as my friends were dying and people were ridiculing those wearing masks.

Maybe it was as kids in our community were killing themselves and people were spewing hate to the LGBTQ community.

Maybe while I'm standing at funerals, others are at home being couch activists for hate.

And I've allowed it in the same way that I walked out of that doctor's office without speaking up about something that is important to me.

Maybe under the guise that we are each entitled to our own opinion.

And we are. You are.

But I am also worthy of being seen and heard. I'm worthy of the respect I gift others.

I feel a little like I'm looking at the parting of the Red Sea. I need to leave some environments I've been in. But going somewhere new is hard even if the old place was terrible.

Mama Warriors, what we allow, we advocate for.

It's really that simple.

Last Wednesday, the morning after the election, there were 3 bad accidents near my home. 3 times people were injured, people are going to have to struggle with insurance claims, people were afraid.

The most popular comment on the newspaper's thread about those accidents read something like this:

Those liberals can't see to drive today through all their tears. Followed by a laughing emoji.

Is that helpful? Necessary? Kind?

I feel like we all missed something in kindergarten.

So this morning I'm saying what I should have said a long time directly.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't clear about how serious I feel these issues are. Or how they impact my daily life."

You can say that too.

You can remove yourself from rooms, or the local newspaper site, where respect for humanity is not practiced.

On both sides, we can get off the couch.

We can serve one another.

We can sit with coffee and have the hard conversations.

We can show up in our community in ways that create the change we want.

On either side.

We can choose addition over division.