What Then

This week I was sitting at co-op people watching. I heard this adult tell this child "You don't need to be scared."

I'm going to confess. I cringed.

I know they were well meaning. Attempting to be reassuring.

But the thing is, we can't tell people how to FEEL. 

If you FEEL afraid, then fear exists for you. 

It's not reassuring to be told "don't feel x." 

I think fear isn't always a bad thing. Don't want we want them to be a little afraid of running into the street without looking both ways? 

When we tell kids "don't be afraid" - we essentially say "Don't listen to your inner voice."

I think that's a dangerous path. 

I want my kids to be super in tune with that inner voice. Because that's where their Jesus lives. 

I've had a long week struggling with anxious thoughts. 

When you, or your kids, have anxious thoughts - play "What then?"

Go ahead and chase the worst case scenario. 

Because at the end of the worst case scenario is where you figure out what your peace is. 

If it all went as badly as I am imagining, what then? 

I know there are many people who think you should walk the best case scenario. 

But the comfort is actually in the worst case scenario. 

It's figuring out where your strength would come from IF the worst case version happened. 

Because honestly, I find, that it is rare the best case scenario happens. And rare the worst case scenario happens. 

But rather, we mostly live in an "okay case" scenario world. 

I can walk the okay case because mentally I've already prepared myself for the worst. 

What then gives our kids strength. It validates their fear and gives their inner monologue a voice. 

Telling them not to be scared doesn't stop the fear - it only stops the voicing of the fear. 

I think there's a misconception that feeling fear makes you a bad Christian. 

I feel like letting FEAR lead you instead of Jesus is where the line is drawn. 

Feeling the fear is human. 

And being ashamed, or even worse, making our kids feel guilt on top of fear is not part of the plan. 

Last week Peanut and I read this book about a Mom who is trying not to eat cookies, but after a long discussion with her little boy Arnie, she eats not just one. But many cookies. 

I feel like Arnie's mom may be my person. 

Closet cookie eaters unite.

It's in my closet, often with a cookie, where I do my best "what then" walking. 

It's where I let myself walk that worst case and find out that I'd have enough faith to survive whatever it is I picture. 

It's where I embrace that He'd give me ENOUGH. 

I'd be ENOUGH. 

Mama Warriors, maybe you have a little one walking fears. I urge you to "what then" with them. 

Peanut was afraid the other night that her night light would go out. 

What then?

Then it would be dark. 

What then?

I'd call for you. 

What then?

You'd come. 

I think you'll find in your "what then" - that you'll often land in that same spot. 

God will show up. 

And maybe you, like me, need to know that in your worst case version.... God will show up.