Messy

 "the sweet wind of the Holy Spirit does not flow only through tidy lives."

My entire yard is a big swap. Sitting water everywhere. Mud. Ground is squishy when you walk.

Peanut hasn't met a mess she doesn't love. She spent this morning splashing in the puddles, chasing the leaves in the river stream running through our front yard, and creating concoctions with stuff she found and the rain water sitting everywhere.

By the time we came inside for lunch, she was a MESS.

She was wet, covered in mud, sidewalk chalk and dirty water.

It's nearly impossible to clean a short person without ending up messy yourself.

In the list of (MANY) parenting things I've done differently with the wee one is the area of MESS.

I've not only embraced that being six is messy, but I've encouraged the mess. I've nurtured the sensory play, made the cloud dough and moon sand. I've give her baking soda and vinegar and all the expired household stuff to experiment with. We've mixed shaving cream with all kinds of things and explored the texture. I've chased her in the rain, let her splash in every puddle.

I've said countless times "It's okay - that we can wash."

I want her to know in her soul that I'm a person that will climb in the mess with her. And when we are ready, together we will figure out how to clean it up. How to move forward.

Mess is okay.

A confession.

These Mama Warrior posts are facebook hidden from everyone related to me.

It's the reason that they aren't "shareable" (you are welcome to copy and paste - you just can't the easy share).

I realized a few years into writing these that not everyone is comfortable with my mess.

Not everyone can read my mess for what it is - my mess.

Some people feel the need to be critical. Some people feel the need to comment on my oversharing. Many people think I should have this "suck it up" mentality about the ins/outs of my days.

After walking some mess with our own teenagers, I sort of get it.

It's HARD to watch the mess unfold. It's impossible to support without getting messy too.

Because when you truly walk hard with someone, I believe it changes YOU. And change is never pretty.

It's messy.

I think when something some else does bothers YOU - it's about YOU, not about them.

I started changing what I wrote based on how I thought the people closest to me would react.

And then I realized - I'm not called to hide my testimony. My walk.

I feel deep in my soul that I'm called to share my messy with you.

We don't share enough mess as followers of Jesus.

We whine and complain. We create this mom world of "if we can just get to bedtime." But with a smile emoji which somehow makes it all okay? We share the funny mess our toddler made or the lost phone charger meme for our teenagers.

We stay very surface.

Because that's where we are comfortable. In our unchanging comfort zone.

I feel like our greatest joy is found in our biggest mess. And until we learn to authentically walk our own mess, we will never feel the great joy.

And not everyone wants to walk your mess with you.

Honestly, not everyone deserves to walk your mess with you.

Boundaries folks- which is a whole different post.

Mama Warriors, I write these posts for ME.

They are how I process and grow. They are the exhale to the breath I hold most of my day.

I hope sometimes you see a glimpse of your day in them - that you feel seen, heard, valued. That you remember you are loved by Jesus.

I hope you have a place where you walk hard authentically.

If not - message me. I'm an awful housekeeper, a not so great cook but man, I'm a good listener.

I want you all to feel the deep joy that comes from being okay with your own mess.

And I want you to find the people who don't mind your mess.

(hint - they might be over 40 )