VHS

"God's will isn't about the things we achieve, it's about the people we become."

There are several things I've found that are a true test of marriage. 

For us, one of them is a yard sale. There's the getting ready for the yard sale (how many tshirts does one person need? is the 1992 Shiloh Generals one REALLY a need?). There's the dragging all your "treasures" onto your yard. Then, there's the sitting in the heat all day haggling with strangers over 50 cents. 

During one such yard sale, I hear an older woman ask me "Which wedding is this?" I'm guessing she thought I'd taped a royal wedding. 

Nope. My wedding. 

My husband heard me say "Let's get rid of all the VHS tapes." 

And so MY WEDDING ended up in my front yard. On sale for 50 cents. 

In sorting boxes this weekend, I uncovered that rescued VHS tape (which has since been converted to a DVD) and had to laugh at the memory (a decade gives you perspective). 

As I'm unearthing all kinds of memories in this Tidying Up adventure, I keep circling back to Matthew 6. 

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

While I want to save a few momentos here and there, I want to make room for the future. 

I want there to be so few THINGS that I don't have to be the keeper of that knowledge. That everyone will now know where things are. Amen mamas? 

Space to breathe. Time to spend with my family rather than constantly battling the mess of our home. 

I feel this way about my spiritual walk too. 

I feel heavy some days from carrying around the past. 

The shoulds. The regrets. The guilt. 

We weren't designed to be so burdened.

We are saved so we can live a life only carrying with us what sparks joy. 

So, as I touch every single item in our house, I've been mentally walking myself through the last few years. The challenges. The struggles. I'm carrying a backpack full of negativity. 

I'm asking myself what of those times do I want to take forward with me?

The guilt of the mother I wasn't when I was too sick to be that person? 

Or the joy in knowing that it made me have compassion for others, and my kids too? 

The should haves in the hard teen years? 

Or the knowledge that I've been authentic and transparent with my kids - I've showed them how to walk the unknown? How to apologize?

I'm setting free boxes of stuff sure. 

But I'm also setting free that which I do not want to take forward. Fear. Guilt. 

Mama Warriors, it's okay to tidy your soul. 

To set it free. 

To re-frame how you remember the challenges. To change your inner self talk. It's important. 

It's a LONG process. 

It's slow. 

But you are worthy of putting that backpack down.