Mirror

 "Have you ever thought to yourself like I have, "I shouldn't need anything, I have Christ?" But Paul needed his coat and books so much he wrote to Timothy and asked him to deliver them and God deemed it should make it into holy scriptures—so cannot I ask for coffee and my dog's head resting in my lap.

Paul was so ordinary.

Perhaps ordinary is more sacred than we think."

Last week Peanut and I had a rocky week.

We both came off a week of her being sick cranky, stretched and a bit on edge.

I noticed she was MUCH sassier than her norm. "MOM Stop treating me like a child. I'm not a child anymore." (screamed at me by the 9 year old)

She argued with me about everything. "Talking animals is NOT fiction. Animals can talk."

I downloaded a new parenting book (Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting is a great read - on Hoopla read aloud by the author). I started rethinking all the things.

Old habits die hard.

Then I remembered that anytime there is a shift in our home, I should first look in the mirror.

I had spent a full week sleeping on Peanut's floor taking care of her around the clock. I was tired. I had not spent any time by myself. I had not done any of the things that ground me.

Living a thankful life is a CHOICE.

I gathered my new devotion book, an old favorite book, a fresh new journal and a hot cup of tea.

I read, I journaled. I listed the ordinary gifts of each day.

I shifted my PERSPECTIVE.

I remembered that WHO I AM is more important in my parenting than what I do.

Because when I am stretched, WHO I AM is what seeps.

I severely limited screens. I modeled reading books, listening to podcasts, trying out new art supplies, lingering in the kitchen over an old recipe, singing favorite songs, breathing fresh air and exploring new ideas. We went to bed early.

Slowly, my sweet Peanut returned.

I am the thermostat for my home, for my relationships.

Who I am, day in day out, in the ordinary makes a greater impact on who Peanut becomes than any parenting strategy.

Which means that I walk the hard with Peanut. I give words to what she can not. "Wow I'm feeling really cranky today. I'm not being as patient or kind as I know I can be. How can I change that?"

I set the boundaries. "You are feeling really frustrated. It's okay to be frustrated with me. You have to be respectful in how you communicate that. Would you like to take a minute to calm down or write down what you want to say?"

I repair the relationship moments where I didn't seep who I really am. "I'm sorry I raised my voice. There was no reason for me to raise my voice at you. You are just being nine years old. Being nine can be hard some times."

Mostly I remember that change always begins with me.

Mama Warriors, parenting these growing and changing people is hard.

If you don't love yourself well, you can't love them well.

You have to start with looking in the mirror.