Father's Day

 "The most important thing in our belief system is not our behavior. It's the roots."

I spent this past week sorting pictures.

Taking apart old albums/scrapbooks and downsizing until all of the pictures of my life fit into one 240 picture album.

For those of us who are....older.....the initial sort is easy. Pictures are blurry. We aren't looking at the camera. There are countless pictures of places with no people in them. Those all go into the trash.

My second sort involved making sure I found pictures of me with each of the grandparents, parents, cousins.

There are two pictures of me with my dad. Two.

He's not smiling in either.

I'm not surprised.

I don't remember him ever being happy to see me.

Once my mother quit forcing him to spend time with me, he stopped.

My dad passed away a few years ago and even knowing he was dying, even receiving a letter from me, didn't encourage him to mend a broken bridge. His conditional approach to relationships he took to the grave. His way or no way.

We celebrated Father's Day a day early yesterday so that SD could spend today celebrating his own dad.

I asked "Where do you want to go to lunch?"

"Where ever you guys do" was his response. Always.

SD authentically just wants to spend time with our kids. Where ever they are. Doing what ever they love. Eating what ever they want to eat.

He's sat through countless ball games, play productions, dance recitals, movies. He's endured hours of discussions on MLB games, dystopian novels and currently the Wings of Fire series.

He works 12 hour days and still manages to show up for family dinner most nights.

I realized this week as I walked down memory lane of my own life that my kids may never appreciate the wealth of their life because they know no other.

SD and I have worked so hard to gift them something neither of us had.

It's their norm.

SD isn't afraid to do the hard. Create the boundaries. Enforce them.

But he also embraces the joy. Dances in the kitchen (even though the kids groan). Sings loudly. Laughs abundantly.

Mama Warriors, perhaps you wake up on Father's Day too with a mix of emotions.

About your own father. About your kid's father.

There's space today to remember that while we are broken people who make mistakes we are loved by a heavenly Father who isn't conditional.

It's okay to take a moment today and grieve what wasn't or isn't.

And then remember that you can gift your kids a heavenly father that will far surpass the earthly one.