Tacos and Clue

 "People with anxiety believe that the best defense against the worst thing happening is to take control. The best defense is acceptance."

This picture was taken around my dining room table last week.

It was an evening of tacos, a rousing game of Clue, pound cake, and the unspoken hanging in the air.

It would be the last time, for a while, my dining room looks like this.

This that has been our norm over the last few months.

Last night a piece of my heart got on a plane to go across the country on a BIG adventure.

I couldn't be more excited or proud of her for choosing to move forward amongst the hard.

I couldn't be more selfishly sad for me because she has the most authentic laugh, gives the best hugs, and makes a room a place you want to be in.

I often struggle with what and where my mission field is. I watch as some devote time to BIG and feel this twinge of guilt - where am I making a difference?

Where am I called to be?

And then one day I am standing in my kitchen, slightly teary (though I promised it was not a day for ugly crying) and I glance over at my table.

Where EVERYONE is welcome.

And I see that this beautiful young woman that we scooped up has brought another.

Because EVERYONE is welcome.

As I prayed for this scooped young woman of ours, I thanked Him for gifting me the opportunity to show up for her in the small.

I thanked her mama in heaven for all the conversations we had in a hard parenting season because I can without a doubt say her mother loved in a Mr. Rogers "just the way you are" kind of way.

I wondered if I showed up as well for her mama in life as I do in death?

That question catches me as I sip my tea through tears this morning.

Mama Warriors, do we show up for each other in life as well as we do in the hard?

We are all pretty good at signing up for the meal trains, or sending cards to those with a new challenging diagnosis, or doing a store run for a neighbor who is ill.

We show up for the funeral.

But do we show up for coffee on the average Tuesday to say "I see you doing the hard daily?"

Maybe our mission field is in creating a Jesus table - the kind where EVERYONE is welcome.

On a random Thursday night for tacos and Clue.