Did you Know

 "Jesus didn't enter the world in a palace or king's court. Instead, He chose to enter our world right in a pile of mucky, messy, stinky, dirty straw. Jesus comes and meets you in the stinky mess of your sin. The Lord saves. Jesus is with us. A love this unbeatable, unstoppable, unwrappable is a love that the mind can't fully understand. It can only be felt."

There was a shift in our schedule unexpectedly today and we ended up free to attend the Christmas Eve service at church.

We went to the interactive family one early in the day.

Peanut stood up, with her glow stick radiant, and sang with such joy in her heart. I may have ugly cried through her entire "Mary Did you Know."

I looked over at SD and we both had that teary eye glowing smile.

We're doing it. This parenting thing. Round 3.

And we're doing okay.

Not perfect. Some days not even great.

But we're showing up.

I looked at the words on the screen "Mary did you know?" - and I thought, "HECK NO she did not know what she was saying "yes" too."

None of us do really.

We've been parented. We've seen other people parent.

But nothing prepares you for the moment someone hands you this child to raise and says "do your best."

I think if we knew - many, if not all of us, would not say yes.

It would firmly be a thanks but no thanks conversation.

Parenting is the ultimate loss of control.

We plant the seeds. We pour. We water. We nurture.

And we step back and we hope.

We hope.

We pray.

We wait.

In the song they ask Mary the big things - did she know he'd be a Savior? Did she know he's help a blind man see?

They don't ask her did she know that once she'd leave him in a temple for 3 days and he'd be lost and she'd be panicking? They don't ask her if she knew he would or wouldn't sleep through the night? Or have toddler tantrums? Or think he's a full grown man by the time he's 12?

It's easy to ask did we know they'd be great.

We spend their wholes lives hoping, praying for greatness.

We forget that they'll be human. They'll stumble, they'll fall, they will be lost, they will wander, they will doubt, they will question. They will struggle.

Did Mary know it'd be hard?

Probably. It was off to a very odd and rocky start you know. She probably figured that was bound to be an indication that this parenting thing would require a lot of her.

She believed that when He gifted her a son that it would be good.

Simply because he was His.

Mama Warriors, the next 24 hours or so will be rocky for many.

Some of us will be missing people who aren't here this year for various reasons.

Some of us will celebrate with people where relationships are strained or stretched or broken.

Some of us will be jealous of the grass is greener photographs we are bound to see.

I will confess - I'm already jealous of those of you who manage to get all of your people to take a picture together, and even more so, appear to be enjoying it.

Did we know Christmas would look different?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

He knew.

We have to find space where that's enough.

We can't put the broken back together again, we can merely embrace that we were meant to sit in the mess this year.

We are called to come to the manger.