Reframing Sweet Tea

 “What we know matters but who we are matters more.”

― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Today is the last day of summer for us.

This morning my brain swirled with all the "to do's." There are lesson plans to write for my own kid and for other people's kids. There are chores that have been neglected in favor of enjoying our house guests. There are new budgets to create. An inbox full of emails.

All the things.

This rush that it all needs to be this elusive "done" by Monday morning.

I dropped Peanut off at camp and came down to CFA to eat breakfast with my points and try to tackle the list.

I sat down with my sweet tea and I've managed to accomplish nothing.

Nothing.

Then comes the rush of guilt - I'm "wasting" this last morning of camp. I'm down to 1.5 hours until I have to pick her up. I have an errand to run, so really 1 hour.

I realized I was holding my breath and too frazzled to get anything done.

So this morning I sit.

I sit and do nothing because I've learned to read my body cues.

I've learned to lean into gifting myself grace and space.

This past month has been a whirlwind. I've felt overwhelmed with the uncertainty.

SD's new job is a blessing for him. But it's a change. He's no longer super close to our house. His two weeks of vacation time to spend with us disappeared. There's a new county to learn, a new way of doing things to process.

The wee one starts middle school Monday. I've pulled technology and am trying to figure out what the healthiest balance for our home looks like in practice.

We've had amazing house guests. The first to fly out happens today and we are sad. We will miss him dearly. And it's a signal that soon the others will fly out as well. Change is coming.

This morning I gift myself space to just sit in the mess.

I'm working on learning to reframe all the things.

Peanut and I worked on reframing our house guest leaving this morning as she cried "I don't want him to go. I'll miss him."

We talked about how he came for 3 weeks this time. His longest visit. How we were gifted time to go bowling, for him to see her in a play, to do puzzles, play games, to draw and to sit. How blessed we are to love him so much that we will miss him.

Reframing recognizes the feeling but makes space for looking at a situation in a new light.

As I sit with my tea this morning, I'm working through reframing each of my challenges or concerns. Making space for the feelings, but then naming what feels like too much and why. Then shedding new light on the situation.

Mama Warriors, as many of us shift into back to school mode, I encourage you to work with your kids, and yourself, on reframing.

Instead of dismissing kids fears or concerns with a "It'll be okay" - let's make space for them.

"You're nervous about a new teacher and a new class. It's okay to be nervous. When things are different, we can sometimes let worry overtake us. Let's think about what might be. Your new teacher might be really nice. You know what it feels like to be nervous so you can help someone else who is nervous. You were nervous on the first day of art camp but you found someone else who liked the same things as you do."

Gift yourself to space to reframe.

I think you'll find as you exercise that muscle, that finding the balance between recognizing the feeling and naming the positive in a new light will become easier.

Perhaps always easier with a CFA sweet tea.