Be a River

"Love is a river and there are times when impediments (boulders) stop the flow of love. .....The miracle of grace is that you can give what you have never gotten. Your source is God. You are your own source. Your river is strong. Flow unimpeded."

Sweet Daddy (who thinks I need a new name to call him by - a quick aside, his mother called him Sweet Boy when she talked about him and when I started writing I struggled for a nickname for him....so SD it became) - anyway, Sweet Daddy says I am incredibly difficult to buy for. 

I would attest I am incredibly easy to buy for. 

I have learned that material gifts is HIS love language. Not mine. 

No matter how many times I ask for a clean van or a bathroom with no stains - I'm going to unwrap something. Because he gives as he knows how to receive. 

The first few years we were married I would open these gifts and think "really?" Even if they were nice things they were frequently not things I would have spent money on. Or would use enough to warrant the money spent on them. 

One year he gave me yellow pants because I thought it was so funny when Frankie on The Middle got yellow pants for Mother's Day. I do not wear yellow pants either. He missed what was funny about the yellow pants. 

So over the last two decades I have mastered the art of "gift asking."

He's going to buy something on the 3 big days a year - Christmas, my birthday and Mother's day. 

So I store up all the things that would be useful to me but I would never buy because I'm getting along without them - and I ask for those. 

He so enjoys gifting me things. 

And now I enjoy receiving them. 

A few years ago I asked for bowls with handles. 

There were massive cracks made about how excited Mom was going to be over bowls - from the people with video game systems, new games, books/dvds, and toys on their list. 

If you have never eaten soup or cereal or better yet ice cream curled up under a fuzzy blanket on your couch with a bowl with a handle - you are missing out. Trust me. I received six of them and they are never clean. So I'm just saying. 

Last Christmas I asked for a new travel mug. All of mine began to pour hot tea on me as I shuffled kids here and there. And none of them actually kept the tea hot. 

I got this thermos mug in the picture. I'm just going to tell you - it's the Cadillac of travel mugs. HOURS later - that tea will still be too hot to drink. 

See the bowls with handles, the travel mug, the year I got an electric knife to slice my homemade bread - all of these things - they enhance my day. They SERVE me. 

They bring me joy. 

When my people love me, they often want to love me how they want to be loved. 

That serves THEM but not me. 

I think we all find ourselves guilty of that from time to time. 

My mother had surgery two weeks ago. I've been by several times a day to try to help. I want to do the laundry, pick up the groceries, help her get around. 

I realized this week though what SHE wants is people to keep her company. She's used to being very busy. 

While two weeks on my couch seems like a dream to this introvert - it is not my mother's dream. She's lonely. She's watched all her recorded TV. She's social media'd. 

She wants me to sit and watch Halloween Wars with her while we have a snack and listen to me ramble about the messes my children make. 

She wants to be loved as SHE receives love - not as I do. 

Mama Warriors, I think a lot of times its challenging to love our people in the way they receive love. We often don't even recognize that it's different. 

Sometimes we've never seen love modeled in that way - as time, as acts of service, as physical touch, as gifts, etc. 

We can still be a flowing river. 

We can give that which we never received because of grace. 

In a sermon I listened to recently I heard someone say that we often comment that we will pray for someone as "its the least I can do." When really it's the MOST we can do. 

We can love people through prayer but also committing to pray about how to serve them in a way they can receive. 

So if your people are complicated bowls with handles folks too, I assure you - you can love them too :) 

You can be a river.