Asterisk Life

 "We need no wings to go in search of Him, but have only to look upon Him present within us." St Teresa of Avila

About six months ago, SD's truck began to sound with the very familiar "secondary air injection system" issue. Essentially a very expensive, non essential (but affects drivability) issue that we've had MANY times before.

We did research. Again. And finally found a "Toyota specialist" familiar with the problem.

We had to order parts and then wait for a good time to get the truck to him (an hour from our home).

Monday was the magic day.

When SD left the shop, the magic lights all were off, the truck drove fine.

Tuesday morning the truck had all the magic lights back. And now isn't drivable.

When he called the specialist back we heard the familiar "Hmm...that's never happened before." He offered to research.

We now have a new guess as to how to fix the problem. One of those "only in some cases" do you need this extra part, which of course doubles the cost of the repair. And again we wait on parts and try to figure out how to get a truck stuck in limp mode an hour from the house. A second time.

A friend lovingly said yesterday that our house is where the asterisk lives.

You know that "results may vary" spot?

The long list of possible side effects that is rare?

Yep. That's us.

Last month we had a plumber come out not once, not twice, but three times for a bathroom leak. On the third time he said "This is going to sound crazy, but I think this is the problem. I've never seen that before."

That's us. The "I've never seen that before."

After every test the doctors could think of, no one could figure out why I was losing weight and malnourished. Not one. "I've never seen that before" became the refrain.

I'm going to confess, I'm WAY ready to drop the asterisk from our life.

I don't want varied results. Odd side effects. The never seen before.

I want vehicles to work when you repair them. I want plumbers to identify problems and repair them with confidence. I want a body that digests food and keeps it.

I want average results in life.

I was reminded this morning as I walked my exuberant dog (while others walked their average dog) that I'm not promised a life without asterisks.

Its in the asterisks where I'm challenged to trust and grow.

Not two of my favorite things.

Mama Warriors, maybe you, too, live an asterisks life. It seems we only see those with the regular results.

Not a lot of posts about for those for whom results may vary.

Maybe you planted all the right seeds, loved deep, and your kid still made challenging choices.

Maybe you say all the prayers, read all the books, and your faith is still wavering.

Maybe we are called to live INTO the asterisks.

I'm reminded that we survived a few weeks with one working bathroom. I was sustained for years while doctors tried to figure out the cause of my asterisk. So, we will navigate being down one car, we will trust provision for the extra expense of the repair at the costliest time of year, and we will live into the asterisk.

Results may vary is guaranteed.