Control

 "God uses messy broken people right in the middle of their greatest challenges."

On Tuesday I decided that my kitchen cabinets *needed* a deep clean. The kind where you take them down, scrub them, and put them back up. You know, the kind I've never done in the 17 years we've lived here.

Now, if you don't know me well you might think this is crazy. First, there is my total lack of skill at any domestic challenge. Second, the Peanut is sick this week. Kid funk. The "I need to whine and hang on my mama" kid funk. Third, my middle child has lost his ever loving mind (ie - he's decided he's really a teenager now and knows more than his father and I). There's the oldest whose navigating tough times. There's the overworked husband (who loves his job). There's the sports practices, the appointments, the commitments. The constant no sleep.

Oh yeah - and it was Halloween.

My kitchen has 21 cabinets and 11 drawers. It's an insane project to tackle.

Here's the thing, when everything around me seems REALLY out of control. I have to take on something I CAN control.

I can scrub the dirty cabinets over and over. I can tackle them one at a time and see progress. I can control this.

The sick kid, the struggling teenagers, the million other things running through my mind.

I can NOT control those.

I've been quiet this week. Processing. Scrubbing my cabinets and thinking through all that I can not control.

"First we feel and then we heal."

I'm learning that I haven't been letting myself FEEL the feels. I'm stuck in fix it mode, research mode, move forward mode.

So, this week. I'm scrubbing the cabinets. Feeling the feels.

Feeling the feels - it's messy.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Eph 6:10-15

God gave me this for this week.

Stand.

He doesn't say I have to know what the next step is. He doesn't promise I get to know what to do next.

He calls me to "stand."

Stand in faith.

Stand in hope.

Stand in trust.

Just stand.

I can "just" clean these cabinets this week. I can "just" listen to worship music while doing so. I can "just" pray over all the out of control aspects.

I can "just" stand.

I can root my feet in Him and just BE.

I can yield to a greater timeline than my own.

I can stand.

Mama Warriors, if you are feeling the waves crash this week. If you are feeling overwhelmed and like possibly you might drown. We don't *have* to swim.

We can just tread water a bit. We can just stand still. We can give ourselves the time and space to feel the feels.

We can just be still and know.

November 2017

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