1997

 "The conversations we have with ourselves set the direction of your life more than the circumstances we find ourselves in."

Tuesday I went out into our yard to gather Peanut to go for a walk. And noticed the hot water heater overflow pipe was dripping into the backyard.

Upon further invesgiation, it seems our circa 1997 hot water heater has finally had enough. It was leaking.

We've had a "hot water heater fund" for a few years now because I knew as one of the last original appliances to the house (now all that is left is the stove), that it was sure to go soon.

We've replaced a pressure gauge and several heating elements in this old gal over the years. And while she never made great hot water, or very much of it, she worked. And thus she stayed.

When I went to Home Depot to pick out the new one (after reading excessive reviews and determing that our new hot water heater did not need to be smart), I had a chat with a lovely gentleman in plumbing.

We decided on this one and he said "Well, it won't last as long as yours did."

That's sort of the truth for everything right?

My dishwasher has ONE turn dial on it, is so loud you can hear it outside, but still washes the dishes. Well.

Our fridge is shorter than my middle child, you have to sit on the floor to get the cheese out, but it keeps food cold. Well.

They don't make appliances like they used to.

So, while new hot water heater is fancy - all shiny and sparkly grey, and currently does make hotter water than we've ever had, I'm not getting too attached.

I was thinking about this today as I was filling out the registration on my hot water heater and putting on my google calendar today so I can remember how long we've owned it when it dies, about what makes something last?

What makes some people able to perserve when life's circumstances are hard while others crumble?

What makes some people sturdy and able to weather life's storms in stride, while others drown?

I really think it comes down to grit.

The ability to stay.

The determination to rise.

We've become a society that unfriends, unfollows, leaves.

We aren't a people that stay.

When things get hard, we don't double down, we fold.

Jesus stayed.

He sat. He ate. He lingered.

He stayed.

In the middle of hard circumstances, He stayed.

Mama Warriors, we not only have to become people with grit, we have to raise people with grit.

We have to insist they stay.

Not in scary or unhealthy situations, but they don't fold just because life is messy.

They don't quit, unfriend, withdraw just because circumstances are challenging.

We've got to raise 1997 hot water heaters because the world is full of the 2021 models.

Lots of flash, very little substance.

We have to show them how to have grit in a world where being a "social media influencer" is a thing people care about.

We have to give them skills to learn stick to itness.

Which means we have to let them make their own messes AND insist they figure out how to clean them up.

We have to insist when they have a problem with a grade, an assignment, a teacher, that THEY email/contact the teacher. That THEY reach out and make a plan.

We have to insist when a friendship has rocky patches that THEY have face to face conversations - that THEY learn to work through communication issues.

When they have trouble with a coach or a teammate, we have to insist that THEY learn to find their voice, express themselves respectfully.

Our kids won't find grit if we are doing all the work.

Let's raise 97 hot water heaters even in 2021.

Let's raise kids who last. Who stay.