Her Story

"Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?""

In some ways the last 17 years seem like they flew by but in others I can promise you it felt long and hard. 

When I sat in that sancturay in 2008 , and watched her graduate from kindergarten, I can assure you I pictured our journey very differently than it turned out. 

Maybe because I never pictured her path being HER path. 

There have been MANY times over the last 17 years that I have wanted to take her burdens, carry them as my own. 

I wanted to take away the pain of the mean girls experience in first grade. I wanted to take away the hurt of not fitting in. Relationships that faltered. I wanted to undo her bad choices. I wanted to protect her from.......life. 

On paper I'm a huge advocate for natural consequences. 

I'd like to think that even though my instinct was to protect her, that I gave her space to be bold and vulnerable. 

Knowingly, or unknowingly, I definitely gave her room to push my boundaries and carve her own path. 

In church yesterday the pastor read this verse:

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.(Matthew 11) 

I let that verse wash over me, and clearly heard Him say

"Come to ME"

Where do I want my wandering kid to go?

Not to ME.

But to Him. 

I think deep in our Mama hearts we want a role we were never destined to have. 

I think we want to author their story. 

It's not our story to tell. 

And even harder, it's not our story to write. 

I would have written a much different story for her. An easier story. 

One that bought me more sleep at night. 

It's not my story to write. 

It's not my story to share. 

It was never about ME. 

I've always just been along for the ride. 

Mama Warriors, many of us are embarking on a new season. The Princess has finished her traditional high school education. In a matter of weeks, she will earn a high school diploma. She started her first real job today (thank you Jesus). The college applications have been completed. The budgeting has been discussed. The driving lessons continue. 

What do I desire in this season? 

I desire to be a person who has earned the right to HEAR her story. 

A person whose vulnerable and authentic with her. A person whose earned her trust. 

For moms of littles, I challenge you to begin with that end in mind. 

You are building a relationship. 

You are not the author of the story. 

If you can relinquish that control, you can really enjoy reading His story.