Tent Dancing

 "God did not create your life to be lived in segments. He created it to be lived in seasons."

A few months ago I started to think about the ending of the school year marking the end of elementary school for Peanut.

I wanted to take the time to celebrate that season. Peanut has always wanted to go to the Great Wolf Lodge. A friend and I began to plan a surprise trip for our girls.

These past few months I can feel Peanut doing the dance between being "little" and the tween phase. I can feel her pushing away here and there.

I listened to a podcast last week that talked about the importance of this phase. Gifting them space to figure out who they are apart from us BUT also making sure they know they are never alone.

I've done this dance twice and I find it one of the harder stages of parenting. I'm somehow always supposed to know when I'm supposed to be participating and when I'm supposed to be invisible.

My main goal with Peanut has, and will continue to be, connection.

Connection not control.

I gift her space but not at the expense of the connection.

As I was reflecting on the trip, one of my favorite moments happened on our first night. The girls and I were wandering around the lobby when we stumbled upon a dance party. They were both unsure.

I could tell both theater kids wanted to participate but just weren't sure. I reminded them that we have to learn to tune out the other voices in the world if we are going to live into our own happiness.

And I started to dance.

The girls slowly joined in. After a bit I decided to take my place along the sideline with the rest of the parents.

Peanut looked over and said "Mom - come on."

This same child who hasn't wanted me to walk her to class. Or show signs of affection in public. Definitely doesn't want me singing in the car if someone else is in it.

She wanted me to dance with her.

I think that's what this season is right? It's being always present - ready to be invisible or fully participating.

Making space that both can exist.

We keep our connections with people by gifting them space to grow. By allowing relationships to ebb and flow.

By accepting that change is inevitable.

The preacher at our church often uses the analogy that our church sets up a big tent. We make space for variances in beliefs and traditions. We set up our big God tent and invite you to sit in it with us.

Parenting works that way too. If you put up camp chairs and insist it always be the same, always the way you want, etc. It's a small space. It doesn't make room for growth.

But a tent - a tent makes space for gathering in different ways, in different forms. A tent says "you are always welcome here. If you want to stand, sit, dance, or nap." A tent is inviting.

Mama Warriors, as we move into summer I encourage you to pitch large tents.

Make them big enough for them to find their independence but still be in your tent. Make them big enough for the people in your village.

Look for opportunities to make connections. Invite their world into your tent.

Maybe there will even be dancing in your tent.