Best Deal Ever

 "Parenthood is a bold and dangerous thing. Risk was not an event we survived, but the place where we now lived."

Peanut and I decided on Sunday we would watch a movie together. This summer we are working on problem solving and team work with all 3 kids. I asked Peanut how we could decide what movie to watch.

Peanut said "I know! You can pick 4 movies, and then I can pick 1 from that. Then we will know that we will both like it. Deal?"

Deal.

I picked the 4 movies, and then thought Peanut would pick one and we'd be on our way. (kid #3 - I REALLY should know better)

"Mommy - I didn't think you would pick THESE 4?"

I reminded her that we had a deal (even showing her the picture of her with her thumbs up deal face!).

I shared with her that a lot of times in life, deals seem better in theory. But that we are a family of our word, and she could pick the 1 movie or I could choose for her.

I was thinking as we were watching Wreck It Ralph together, how I think over the last year I've been a little upset at God for how the deal we made played out.

I promised to "train these children up in the way they should go" and I felt like He promised for this to be an easy ride.

Stop laughing.

I honestly have had these moments where I feel like I've done it all "right" - definitely not perfect, mistakes were made, but I feel like I've gotten the big stuff "right."

And yet, I've walked, and am still walking, tough challenges with all 3 of my children in the last year alone. Some emotional, some behavioral, some medical, some spiritual.

I feel a little like Peanut - like, hey, wait a minute? Is this what I agreed to? I didn't think it would look like this.

Mothering these children is the first big thing I've done in my life.

It's the first thing where the consequences of my actions stare at me every day. They mimic me. They react to my responses. They are scarier than my bathroom mirror at times to look at.

I've been reminded this week that I see it all - the highlights, the behind the scenes, the messy. I'm intimately walking life with my kiddos.

Psalm 18:37-39 New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

37 I chased my enemies and caught them.

I didn’t turn back until they were destroyed.

38 I crushed them so that they couldn’t get up.

They fell under my feet.

39 Lord, you gave me strength to fight the battle.

You made my enemies humble in front of me.

And He gave me the strength to walk this.

I can battle for my kids.

I can do hard things. Provide firm boundaries. Push communication. Ask the tough questions.

I can MOTHER them like the verb it's intended to be.

Because that was the real deal right?

I'm blessed with them and blessed with His guidance.

Mama Warriors, take a moment today and look at the social media version of your life. Find the good things you are doing, the mom wins, the strengths in your kids. Take a minute to breathe that deeply in.

There's your strength to tackle the stuff we don't post about. There's your reminder that you are worthy and qualified for this. That you've been called to this.

That this is the best deal ever. (Published June 2018)