Five Seconds

 "When you're the mom, your whole life is holding the rope against these wily secret agents who never, ever stop trying to get you to drop your end."

In addition to the Home Ec and Home Improvement lessons we've got going on around here, we also challenged each of our kids to set a summer goal. Our Princess is taking writing classes, exploring non fiction books on social issues, and working on nurturing friendships.

Picking up her holds at the library is a regular part of our routine.

I'll confess, several of the titles she's chosen to read make me take a deep breath.

I recently read a book compiled by Judy Blume about authors who have been censored over the years. The majority of the ones included in the book were censored because the main character was a teenager and parents/schools didn't feel teenagers should be reading about such tough issues. They didn't want kids to read about getting your period, or being bullied, or being a victim of a crime.

I've always struggled with balancing that verse in the bible about being careful about what your eyes see, with the idea that I want my kids to know how to THINK. I want them to discern good literature from junk. I want them to be passionate about something. I want them to dive in, to read, to explore.

I realized once we gave our children access to the internet, we've allowed them to be exposed to far more than they would have in our library. Apple news is now telling my kids what to think and how to view the world around us. Right there on the homescreen of their ipads.

I sort of hover in this place of fear in this area of parenting.

We watched the first episode of Lost with the kids this week. In it, one of the main characters (Jack) talks about fear. Someone asks him how he deals with fear and he answers

"So I just made a choice. I would let the fear in let it take over let it do its thing. But only for five seconds. That's all I was going to give it."

That resonated with me.

You see - often when something new or scary enters our lives, my first REACTION is one of fear.

I want to RESPOND to my kids in faith, rather than REACT in fear.

I want to let God's peace fill me rather than letting fear engulf me.

So, this week I decided to challenge myself. Each time something scares me, I'm going to give myself 5 seconds to feel the fear. Acknowledge it. Because that's how I work - I can't deny it exists.

And then, I'm going RESPOND to my kids in faith.

I'm going to remind myself that I'm the one who wanted to raise strong, bold, brave kids. And sometimes that means that their viewpoints, standings, or thoughts are just different than mine.

And that's okay.

Because the place you learn how to have a different opinion and express it respectfully is in your home - not on social media.

It's inevitable I think that our kids will at some point question their faith. They'll wrestle with a hard walk and be unsure. It's so important to me that I model for my kids how it's okay to have questions. It's okay to explore and read and ask.

My Jesus is strong enough to withstand that.

When I worry about this things, I'm always reminded of my Princess dressing up as Mary, rocking her baby Jesus.

I'm reminded that parenting from FAITH and not fear lives deep in our home. Even if I sometimes question, explore, read and ask.

Mama Warriors, if you are raising a brave, bold, smart kid, I hope you give them space to investigate. To question, explore, read and ask. Whether it's a social issue, a political issue or a spiritual issue - Jesus is strong enough to hold them up.

He's got this.

(Published June 2018)