Just Right Temperature

 "Don't let popular opinion compromise your convictions."

The last time we traveled as a family was November of 2014. Peanut was a year and a half, and it was our second family trip with her.

It was a DISASTER.

All 3 kids, who were 1.5, 10 and 12 at the time, were in the backseat of the truck. Touching each other.

Peanut cried ALL THE WAY. Yes, 6 hours with numerous stops. There. And home.

The stress of the trip sent me on a gastro swirl that lasted six months.

There wasn't enough space on that trip, physically or emotionally, for all 5 of us.

I sometimes feel this twinge of guilt when I "have" to explain to someone that we don't vacation as a family.

Really - if you've traveled with kids, you are not vacationing anyway. You are parenting in a new zip code where the scenery changed and you've lost your routines.

I heard that quote above in a sermon this morning and realized I don't "have" to explain to anyone else why we don't vacation as a family.

I only HAVE to stick to my conviction that we make the choices that meet the needs of our kids AND us.

My kids need individual attention.

My kids need space to explore their interests and passions.

My kids need unique experiences.

Every single day my kids get to navigate life in a family - taking turns, making sacrifices, and navigating compromises. While they are each loved deeply, the world does not (and should not) revolve around them.

So, when we do travel - we don't ask them to do those things. We let the universe spin around them for just a moment.

We gift Xman a week at the beach with his cousins every year. He gets to play basketball in new recreation parks. He gets to toss a football on the beach. He gets to sleep until past lunchtime and stay up half the night. He gets to eat wings and play pool.

We gift the Princess a solo trip with her dad as often as we can make it happen. They've been to Wilmington to chase the path of One Tree Hill history. They spent some time in a cabin secluded just getting away. This week they are chasing dolphins and ghosts and good seafood. She gets to be the one who makes the choices.

Peanut, who gets severely car sick, wakes 3 to 7 hours before her other people, and only likes chicken nuggets and fruit, gets to do the things an 8 year old likes to do. She goes to VBS. She spends time at the park. There will be time for Peanut adventures when adventure is what Peanut needs.

This week a preacher challenged me - am I led by my thermometer or by my thermostat?

Your thermometer is your soul. What is deeply right for you. It's INSIDE.

Your thermostat is what is around you. What the world says you "must" do. It's OUTSIDE.

For some reason I often feel like I need to defend or justify my thermometer just because the thermostat says something different.

Mama Warriors, sometimes scrolling social media makes us think the thermostat has to be the thermometer.

It doesn't.

Something that is right and fabulous and fun for other families, may not be the right, fabulous, or fun thing for your own.

And that's okay.

Sitting and making messes with Peanut brings out the best in me. It relaxes me. It forces me to stop all the chaos and be still with her.

But my picture of painting cardboard castles is not your thermometer.

It's mine.

I challenge you to discern between YOUR thermometer and the world's thermostat as we embrace this last half of summer.

Your temperature is the perfect one.