Quiet and Loud

 "We need control in order to feel like good parents, and they need control in order to develop. And in a struggle for control there is only one winner, ladies and gentlemen, and it is always the child. It might take time, at the beginning you might feel as if you've won, but as they grow they will teach you a lesson about losing control."

This Mama is done with Thanksgiving break.

I wake desperately needing my routine.

The wee one wakes totally off routine. There is no morning work to start her day, no school rhythm to order her life. The novelty of waking on Saturday, the only day she's allowed to turn on the TV in the morning, gets old when you are on your 8th "Saturday" in a row.

This morning I woke 1.5 hours early so I could sip hot tea and ground myself.

Guess who also woke 1.5 hours early?

I immediately had this grumpy feeling about the day.

I need my quiet morning. I need the dog to eat his kong snack I freeze the night before which takes him exactly the amount of time to enjoy as it takes me to unload the dishwasher, sip hot tea, and listen to a sermon.

That 25 minutes where no one talks to me, or needs anything of me, is what grounds me for the rest of the day. I breathe in scripture and breathe out my expectations for the day.

I took a deep breath, gave the wee one milk, breakfast and a book. I said "Mommy likes to start her day with tea and a book."

She stopped on every page to tell me something she liked about the story.

I gave up on the sermon and the book.

As I work today to clear off my dining room table to set up my advent wreath and candles, I'm trying to make space for Christmas.

In my home.

In my head.

In my heart.

The thing is the things I'm craving to make space for - the favorite Christmas trinkets, the Christmas music, the warm beverages, the lights on the tree - that's only part of the picture.

That's the quiet part.

I also need to make space for the loud part.

For the little one who wakes extra early every day excitedly searching for Snowflake the elf. For the teenagers wondering which friends they should get presents for, and what they should get. For the new puppy who is beside himself with excitement about all the new things I'm dragging out for him to try to get into. For the shopping, the baking, the going.

I need to prepare for the quiet and for the loud.

I need to make routines amongst the breaks.

Mama Warriors, perhaps this time of year for you begins to feel cluttered and chaotic.

I can't bear to think of buying gifts because it means adding more things for me to manage to my home.

I cringe at creating my December calendar today because somewhere in between midterms/finals, basketball practices/games, work schedules that are already full, we are supposed to add Christmas gatherings/outings/"fun."

I encourage you to make space on your calendar for both the quiet and the loud.

Don't let the loud take over.