"If we do not transform our pain, we will transmit it."
Peanut has never been sick and not thrown up.
She's also never had a stomach virus.
The vomit is a sign that a fever is coming. Always.
After the fever, then the actual symptoms show up.
As Peanut does not navigate throwing up well, I've asked the doctor about this a few times. She always has the same answer.
"Her body knows there is a germ that doesn't belong. It does all the things to expel it. She throws up, clearing her system of everything. Then she runs a fever to fight it off. Her body is doing exactly what it's designed to do. Take care of itself."
Rational rested me agrees.
2 AM me catching vomit often questions the process.
This week as she violently threw up well into the night, I prayed over her "Please heal her body." Over and over.
It seemed like as soon as I prayed, she would immediately start throwing up again.
I'm going to confess I started to have a little Come to Jesus with the man Himself.
Really?
I started to question praying for healing. Prayers aren't vending machine quarters.
As Peanut cried "Mama make it stop" and I most certainly couldn't make it stop, I wrestled trying to figure out what we pray.
It feels like my prayers always come down to "Jesus please help me survive THIS."
The thing is sometimes the answer to "please heal her" is vomit.
It's not always the stopping of the bad thing - sometimes it's His presence IN the bad thing.
Rational me remembered that she needs to throw up to get well.
Throwing up is the route to healing for her. Always.
Mama Warriors, maybe you, like me, like to try to pray our way out of the bad thing.
Maybe we lose sight of His presence IN the bad thing.
Maybe the bad thing is really the GOOD thing.
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