Code of Conduct

"What if we let ourselves feel it all? What if we decided that it is strength - not weakness- to let other people's pain pierce us? What if we stopped our lives and the world for things worth stopping for? " 

Xman takes classes at two different co-ops. For those of you not in the homeschooling world, a co-op is just a place where homeschoolers take classes, typically a la carte. They vary widely in purpose and what they offer. Each one is its own entity with its own policies and procedures. 

Each of the ones he attends has a Code of Conduct. Both places require a student and parent signature. Confirmation we are all on the same page as to what to expect. The code of conduct covers everything from dress code, to behavior expectations to parent and student responsibilities. 

I always spend time going over these with Xman. Particularly highlighting anything I think he may find .....let's say unpleasant. 

We talk about how once we sign this paper, we are saying "Yes." Yes I will abide by these policies and procedures regardless of what I think of them. 

I'll be honest some of the hardest conversations I have had with my big kids have been over semantics and specifics of these code of conduct papers. 

For example, yes I will wear this specific polo each week whether I like it or not. Whether I want to or not. 

I explain to him that I will never be a parent who complains about a consequence if he was fully aware of what is expected of him. I signed the code of conduct. He signed the code of conduct. 

In exchange for accepting these rules, he gets a good education, spends time with friends and enjoys a variety of other high school experiences such as lunch, social gatherings, etc. 

Life is about making choices. He could choose not sign the code of conduct and by doing so he would then be choosing not to attend this place. This place gets to make its own rules. If we sign it and enter, we agree to their rules. 

It's really that simple. 

I was thinking this morning how there are many times in life that we also as adults "sign a code of conduct." 

Sometimes it's as simple as "If I want to shop in the Aldi, I'm going to wear a mask, a shirt and shoes." If I don't want to do these things, then I don't shop at the Aldi. I don't get to decide what their rules are. 

We've become a society that wants Aldi to change their policies to what WE want.  We want the rules to be different for us. We want to argue whether the rules should exist. 

It's not our job to decide what Aldi's rules are. 

It's our job to either accept them or shop elsewhere. 

But once we enter, we've signed the code of conduct. We don't get to have a big tantrum about what the rules are and disrupt their place of business. We've said "yes."

I think the Code of Conduct we've most forgotten is the one we signed when we were baptized. 

Most people focus on the cleansing of the sins. On the gift of grace. Important for sure. 

But you also said something like "I believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God and accept him as my savior." 

That's your code of conduct. You just said you believe and accept. 

You signed saying your behavior would be CHANGED to become more like His. 

Because if you believe, your actions will reflect that belief. 

I feel like we are often people who are walking around without wearing our polo and then act mad that we are supposed to. We agreed to. We knew we were supposed to. We blatantly didn't wear it. 

We know we are called to love ALL His people. 

We are not loving ALL his people. 

If someone calls us on it, the problem is with the code of conduct, not us. 

The problem is whether that should be in the code of conduct, not that it is and we are blatantly not following it. 

Mama Warriors, we have to raise kids who wear the polo. We have to raise kids who when they give their word that they will abide by something, that they do. We've got to raise the bar. And when they don't, we have to let them bear the consequences of that. 

And as people, we've got remember we signed our own code of conduct. We CHOSE to be followers of Jesus and that means we chose to go into the world and become fishers of men. 

.We've got to change our bait. 

We should be fishing for souls with kindness and love. People should look at us and say "man she loves her people well - I want to live my life like that."

As we all gear up for another week, let us all write a little code of conduct for ourselves. Get yourself a post it note and jot down what you desire to live up to this week. One simple goal. Put it somewhere where you will see it all. 

My post it note for this week says "People first. "

In all situations, my desire this week is to put people first. People above politics. People above convenience. People above pride. 

People first. 

This week I'm going to stop for the things worth stopping for. 

People first.