Yes Day

 "In all your activity, don't lose sight of the relationship." (paraphased Jesus by Bill Hybels)

Last week Peanut and I spent the morning at the park. As we were packing up to leave, we decided to pick up a pizza and head to Nana's for a movie day.

We chose to watch "Yes Day." (on Netflix for those interested)

I had listened to Jennifer Gardner on a podcast talk about her experience with filming the movie. It's a true story, based on a tradition she's had with her kids since they were very young.

One day a year, she says "Yes" all day. There are a few ground rules, and a few traditions (such as ending the day sleeping in a tent in the backyard), but the general approach to the day is "Yes" when at all possible.

Yes to dressing silly. Yes to ice cream for breakfast. Yes to making slime. Yes to it all.

Peanut got so excited as we watched this movie - "Mommy, can we have a yes day?"

I sort of giggled because from my perspective (and that of her two older siblings), Peanut has been raised in a Yes Day house.

Over the years, I've worked on only saying "No" if it's necessary.

I have some hindsight perspective now that there will be so many necessary no's. I'm saving those for things like driving a car, and not wasting them on painting yourself pink.

In the beginning of the movie, the mom (played by Jennifer Gardner) is remembering who she was before she had children :

"I invented fun, I used to be the fun-est person I knew!

Some people gravitate towards no. Some people naturally lean towards yes.I said yes to everything. "

And then the children came......

"No become the new yes…No is part of the job…It’s called parenting."

While Peanut was dreaming of her Yes Day filled with trips to Build a Bear and sleepovers, I was remembering that I also used to be fun.

I used to be the funnest person I know.

Not one of my children would recognize that girl.

I probably wouldn't either at this point.

The girl who could be convinced to swim anywhere even though she can't swim. The girl who danced in Huddle Houses, even when others objected. The girl who attended classes barefoot and free. The girl who dragged her then boyfriend across 3 state lines on accident and had the best time. The girl who slept in motels where the door opened to the parking lot because the funds never equaled her love to adventure.

My world was a big "yes" and then came parenting.

With thing one and thing two, I moved from the solely yes camp to the maybe camp.

There were things to consider - like naptimes and bedtimes, these horrible sleepers I birth, these people who ate 10 times a day, the tendency of said people to have total meltdowns if you didn't keep the napping/bedtime/meals consistent.

At some point between trying to keep them alive and safe and educated and churched and and and........I forgot it was supposed to be fun.

I forgot I was fun.

Parenting made me Martha, and I very much wanted to be Mary.

Parenting has been a huge learning curve for me. I feel like I spent a large chunk of it in the kitchen preparing the meal, and only recently discovered I could sit on the floor and linger with the people.

"Few things are needed - only one."

Connection.

Mama Warriors, I feel like we are often saying a lot of "yes's" but not to the best things.

We are wasting our yes's on things we aren't called to. Or things that keep us busy, distracted.

In order to be Mary parents, we have to create margin - so we have to say no to some things.

But we need to become people that have a heart for yes for the people we love.

We need to remember we are fun.