Reflection

 "I saw that going differently in my mind." (Hitch).

I'm learning that life with a puppy is much like life with children. As I'm learning who he is, I'm shifting and changing myself and our environment.

After spending MANY weeks trying to keep him off our small kitchen table, I decided it would be better to just remove the table for now. The kitchen is a place we often gate Mo so he can safely have more space than his crate but we can school, carry laundry, or just sit on our couches.

I set up his bed and his toys in the place where the table once sat. This morning I opened the curtains on that window for the first time.

Mo began fiercely barking and growling at the window. We went outside where I couldn't see anything. We came back in and he started right back up.

I realized Mo was barking at HIMSELF.

For the first time, he had seen his own reflection but didn't recognize it as him.

As I come off a rocky gastro week and look in the mirror myself, I think "Same dog. Same."

I often don't recognize the person I've become.

There are days I want to fiercely bark at my own image. To be angry that I'm not who I once was.

Then.........I remember that with forced change came good growth.

My branches and leaves are often weak and not so pretty but my roots are DEEP and STRONG.

Good roots take you far in life.

The person in the mirror gets anxious about outings. She thinks through every food choice. She over researches medications, supplements, all the things. She's been weathered by kids and car accidents. Raising teenagers doesn't look like she had hoped it would. The young kid didn't get the benefit of the young mother.

The person in the mirror is also deeply empathetic. She's become a person that can sit with others in the hard without judgement, unwanted advice, or unhelpful comparisons. She's embracing parenting a deeply feeling kid with yoga breathing, mindfulness and the ability to repair as she goes. She's let out the breath she's been holding and is embracing relationships over control. She's using her strengths rather than focusing on her weaknesses.

Mama Warriors, maybe you too want to bark at the reflection you see in the mirror.

Maybe it's physical. Maybe it's emotional. Maybe it's spiritual. Maybe it's all of the above.

Maybe what you see you don't recognize. It wasn't how you pictured life looking in this season.

I challenge you to linger there. REALLY look at the changes you see. And maybe, underneath, you will find growth and deep roots that are most definitely worth the surface changes.

Maybe instead of barking, it's time for us all to just smile at what we see.

Wonderfully and fearfully made.