Zipper

 "Kids are the best psychotherapy available to a conscious person. They take us back to the landscapes of our own painful and thrilling childhoods, they are always the first to identify our weak spots, but most of all they are a deep mirror that confronts us with the fact that we never were and never will be perfect."

This week it is (finally thank you Jesus) jacket weather in the morning if you weigh barely 50 pounds.

Yesterday I stood at the bottom of my steps and looked up at those sweet brown eyes, that darling freckled face and I watched her struggle with the jacket zipper.

It's been 9 solid months since us in the deep south have needed a jacket, and Peanut and I - we don't wear clothing with zippers. We are all about the drawstring baby.

She struggled for a bit and I had that parent debate you have in your head.

Zip it up myself so we could move on with walking the dog who is now pulling at the leash and freaking out because we should be out the gate by now.

Or remind her that she's an amazing problem solver and encourage her to breath in the flower, blow out the candle. She's got this.

I went with the later. Kid 3 and all. I'm a slow learner but I'm getting there.

Later that morning I pulled into the Goodwill donation drive to drop some boxes. An older gentleman asked me to open my trunk.

I've been driving my car 9 months now and I don't know how to open the trunk. I'm looking around on the floor, on the dash for some button to push. Feeling rushed and embarrassed. Who doesn't know how to open the hatchback of their own car?

I decided to just get out of my car and open it manually - which I know how to do. I mean, I do get the groceries every week.

This man was obviously so frustrated with me.

After he removed the 3 boxes, he said to me "You know how to close it?"

Sigh.

My car doesn't close its back on its own so yes, sir, I do know how to get out of the car and close it myself. And I did.

I had to breath in my flower and blow out my candle.

He was obviously not the kind who could wait for someone to figure out a zipper on a jacket.

As I went through my day I realized how little space people have for those learning new things.

I thought about how we make each other feel when we react to people who can't open their trunk at the Goodwill.

And I thought about the story it makes me tell myself.

How it changes the narrative in my own head. Makes me question my own everything.

What if the Goodwill attendant knew the mental battle I fight just to drive the car? What if he knew that breaking my routine that Thursday morning was really hard for me? What if he knew what even piles of medical records don't show about the journey I've walked?

What if our default was grace for each other?

What if we didn't need the story in order to be the Jesus?

Mama Warriors, maybe you like me are one of those people who can tell a story in a facial expression or a well placed sigh.

Let's train ourselves to respond to the zipper moments with a smile.

Because if our faces don't say "I will wait for you to learn" - our kids will grow up feeling like an inconvenience.

People who slow down our day because they can't find their shoes, or didn't pack the backpack.

To change that facial expression, you have to change your heart toward them.

Life's about giving people the space to figure out the zipper.