Slippers

 "We are going to save the world by repeatedly busting the dread that looms over us like a blimp, by pushing back our sleeves and distracting it with the next right step and good works."

Every night when I tuck Peanut in she asks a hard question. Every. Single. Night.

If we all came from Adam and Eve why do we all have different last names?

What kind of God saves Noah and his family but kills everyone else?

Why do the bad things people say to you stick more than the good things?

I'm going to be honest. 9:15 PM parent me is a rough version of 7 AM parent me.

Last night, after the routines and the prayers. After the lights have gone out, she says to me "I believe that you love Mo more than me."

9:15 PM me had to sit with that for a minute.

She wanted to say "YOU are the one who wanted a dog. Mommy is doing ALL the things for the dog YOU wanted so YOU can enjoy the dog."

Instead, I took a deep breath and said "Why do you believe that?"

She shared because I spend more time with Mo than with her. We walked that a bit and I realized her truth isn't that she thinks I love Mo more than her, it's that she's upset that she thinks Mo loves me more than her.

SHE wanted a dog. She prayed for, asked for, petitioned for, researched for a dog.

And the dog is attached to me. Not her.

"Mommy is this what feeling jealous is like? I don't like this feeling."

We talked about how Mo obviously loves her. He chases her in the yard. He jumps on her when she wakes in the morning. She's fun.

Mo needs me. I feed him. I train him, and thus treat him - his favorite part of the day. I get him out of his crate every single morning. I sit with him outside. It is often me who walks him.

Mo is attached to me because it is with me he feels secure. He will be taken out, he will be fed, he will be loved.

Fun is good.

But fun is not necessary.

Thus - you will almost always find him just like in this picture.

At my feet.

If I move, he moves.

It's almost comical, my shadow he's become.

Peanut and I walked through some ways that Mo could come to rely on her. She could be the one who fed him his dinner. She could be the one who does his morning training session.

But if she wants him to NEED her, it's going to be work.

It will no longer be all fun.

She will have to put HIS needs before her wants.

That's what Mama's do.

As I was sipping my tea with Mo laying over my slippers (thank you Jesus it's finally cool enough for slippers!!!!) - I got to thinking about this idea of needing someone so significantly that you spend all your time at their feet.

And yet again, this silly dog has reminded me of some very basic fact.

If I don't want to be anxious, I need to stay at His feet.

It's ME that wanders. Not Him.

It's ME that gets distracted with the fun (or let's be honest the worries) and wanders away from the comfort of the slippers.

Mama Warriors, I hope we are all coming off fall break rested and ready to finish this semester strong.

I hope we all remember to stay at His feet.