God Wink Chicken

 When we watched the royal wedding, Peanut was very interested in what our wedding was like. A few nights ago we dragged out the DVD and traveled back in time a bit.

I'll admit to being teary as we watched it. Several of our loved ones present at our wedding are no longer with us. Several of the couples at our wedding are no longer together.

I read something this week that said what you remember is relative to the length of time from the event. There was a study where they had college students write down where they were when the planes hit the towers on 9/11 a few days after the event. Several years later, they came back and asked them the same question. A surprisingly high percentage of people could not match their original answer. Perhaps they originally said they were in the dorm, but now they definitely remember being in the cafeteria.

I had a dorm/cafeteria moment while watching our wedding video.

I remember my vows (and can almost still recite the ones I wrote myself). I remember that SD only read me 4 lines of his vows because he was so choked up he couldn't talk. I remember the song sung because it came on the FISH station for years after. I still know all the words.

What I didn't remember however was the majority of the sermon at our wedding.

It seems at the beginning of the ceremony, the minister talked about how he'd gotten to know us. How we were truly best friends.

And how he was sure you'd never find us at a table in front of a lawyer trying to undo what he was about to join.

I'd forgotten that part.

It was moving to watch some 21 years later. How accurately he described us after spending just a short few months counseling us before the wedding.

It's no secret that its a hard season here for me. I've become the weeping woman. Crying through my morning walk every morning. Grieving what no longer is. Figuring out how to make space for what is.

I came back from my morning walk today to find SD had brought me breakfast.

A little nod to remind me that I do not walk this chaos alone.

It's all personal and happening to me. But I do not sit in the mess solo.

As I listened to our wedding vows, I thought - boy, was I young and .......hopeful.

I announced to God and the chapel that day that I knew we'd be better together.

Because SD makes me want to be a better person. He reminds me that regardless how those around me behave, I still walk in love.

When I want to treat others how they deserve to be treated, he reminds me that we gift others the grace we would want gifted to ourselves.

Mama Warriors, I think all too often to weather the storms solo because we forget we are not alone.

We get so used to managing the circus on our own, we forget its a team job.

We don't ask for help because we don't think we should have to. Or we don't want to admit we need it.

It's a spiritual lesson to learn how to ask for, and accept help. To recognize when a battle is far beyond your control and surrender.

Lay it down and don't pick it up.

And maybe, just maybe, there'll be a God wink CFA chicken biscuit in its place.

It is the Lord's chicken after all?