Let it Rise

 "(To make bread) you have to knead it. Push and roll, push and fold, a rhythmic workout on your floured countertop. After 7 - 8 minutes, the consistency of the dough will transform. Smooth, supple, cohesive. That's the point where you have to leave the dough alone. It's silly to anthropomorphize bread, but I love the fact that it needs to sit quietly, to retreat to from touch and noise and drama, in order to evolve."

The other day the Xman said "It's been a good summer."

I thought to myself, "But has it?"

I've had hives since April 20th. The worst of it being during these hot summer months. In June I got stung by a wasp on my face and my eyes, cheeks, mouth swelled. Huge. Couldn't see, couldn't drive. In July I broke my toe and spent 3 days with my foot elevated and ice packs. Throbbing pain. We've had a car accident, a home repair and winding medical expenses with Sweet daddy's surgery.

I've also felt quiet this summer.

Drawn in.

I've brought home countless inspirational books and have not felt inspired. Marked no pages. Took no notes.

I read that quote above in a fiction book I'm reading this week where the main character is a baker.

I marked it, wrote it down, kept circling back to it.

I've been kneaded. Pushed and rolled. Pushed and folded.

I've been stretched.

And now, I'm retreating.

With each time I've been kneaded in life, there has (eventually) been this great growth. Emotional. Mental. Spiritual. Relational.

So, again, I'm reminded to just sit here.

Wait to rise.

There is always rising when you've been properly kneaded.

It's been a good summer.

It has.

As I sit in the rising, I can see His hand at work.

The wee one has soaked up some Jesus this summer and some independence. She's reminded me that truth is buried deep in my soul, and hers.

The middle one and I have worked on our relationship. We've spent countless hours uber driving the other two around and we've talked. About big things. About silly things. We've bowled and we've shopped and we've ate yummy things.

The eldest has begun to find her footing in her new. I can see skills in time management, work/school/life balance, and adulting all coming into focus.

This upcoming week we will (slowly) transition into our fall schedule. The Princess will take summer finals, finalize her college plans and make appointments for advisement and course registration. The Xman will tackle the summer assignments that have been sitting on pause. Peanut will begin first grade with the excitement only a six year old can possess.

I hear Him whispering to me.......I've kneaded........I've planted the seeds.....now YOU evolve.

What will I do with what I've learned this summer?

How will I rise?

Mama Warriors, perhaps you too feel kneaded this summer. Stretched and pulled. Rolled and pushed.

Perhaps you too need to take a moment to sit.

To let the kneading do it's work.

To ready yourself for rising.

It's okay to be in a place of waiting. I think we place WAY too much emphasis on having a grand plan, being sure of our next step.

Sometimes it's okay to sit in the now and wait.

Rising will come.

In His time.