"Emotions make good servants but bad masters."
A few months ago I took Peanut for her five year old well check. She's seen the same pediatrician since birth, but I decided to transfer her over to my own doctor in a family practice setting. I thought it would be easier to have all 3 kids and myself seeing the same doctor, and our new doctor is very local.
Within a few minutes of meeting Peanut, the new doctor asked "Has anyone mentioned her chest to you?"
She sent us immediately to get a chest x-ray. Peanut was diagnosed with Pectus Excavatum that day. Pectus Excavatum is a congenital deformity in which the breast bone grows in instead of out. If you look at the picture of her getting her chest xray, you can see the center of her chest looks like someone scooped the middle out.
We were given a referral to CHOA to see a Cardiothoracic surgeon.
On Wednesday, we took Peanut to the Sibley Heart Center in Athens, where CHOA has a satellite office. The surgeon examined Peanut, confirmed her diagnosis and educated us on her condition.
Essentially Pectus Excavatum is a waiting game. It's something they don't know if they have to repair until she hits puberty. In puberty, they will do a CT scan and a heart echo to see if the deformity is putting pressure on her lungs or causing her heart to work harder.
In the meantime, we can expect the condition to displace her heart. They said this was fine - it's like scooting it over into the neighbor's yard - it still works fine, it's just not where it's supposed to be. We can expect that it *may* affect respiratory function.
During puberty kids go through their largest and last growth spurt. The goal is to measure it as she enters that growth spurt, and if needed, repair it during the growth spurt so that the repair "sticks." The surgery involves inserting a bar into her chest, flipping the bar to push the breastbone out to a "normal" position, and then leaving the bar during puberty. It's an incredibly painful surgery though considered minimally invasive.
A minimum of 7 years we wait.
Wait.
Be still.
My mama heart has processed many emotions over this. I can see the deformity in her newborn pictures. Her first pediatrician never caught it. We always thought it was just that she's super skinny. I never worried something was wrong.
Perhaps God gifted me the last five years to solidify the position that she's fearfully and wonderfully made. Perhaps God knew I couldn't carry this knowledge and my own health journey and the big kids challenges all together.
In His timing.
I have never taken the fact that she can breathe for granted. Lots of other things I'm sure - but I prayed specifically for her breathing throughout my pregnancy and prayers of praise every day since she was born that she breathes. And now we wait and see if she struggles to breathe?
In His timing.
We took Peanut to Toys R Us and let her pick a prize on our way home. I walked the 3 aisles left and asked God to help me find a way to put this piece of knowledge aside for now. To help me wait with joy.
Within a day of her visit, we got a text that a prayer we've had for 16 solid years was answered.
In His timing.
He reminded that prayer is a LONG game. Much like parenting.
Prayer isn't a quick fix or a to do list check off item.
It's a relationship. It sows the seeds. It grows the person praying. Deep roots.
"I’m offering you the choice of life or death. You can choose either blessings or curses. But I want you to choose life." Deut 30:19
Mama Warriors, perhaps you too are playing the waiting game. Raising children is full of "not nows." I think we often pray hard, but forgot how to pray long. Prayers are what build our relationship with Him, draw us closer. So in the moments when the waves of life hit, we may wobble, we may fall down, but we do not drown. Our roots are deep.
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