Nothing

 "It is much easier to act like a Christian than to react like one." Mark Batterson

Confession.

A few times a year I find social media MUCH harder to navigate than others.

I see the pictures of you all in your matching Christmas pajamas huddled up in front of the Christmas tree. I see the gushing posts of how much your kids love you and the showers of gifts for Mother's Day/birthday. I see your kids finishing college, getting jobs, marrying, etc. I see what seems to be a declaration of "look how good it's going over here."

Confession two.

It's a hot mess over here.

People are taking college classes, dropping out of college. People are quitting jobs, getting new ones. People are changing their majors. Again. People are struggling in relationships.

These people are not wearing matching pjs.

These people are three of the most different people I've ever met.

They vote differently. They worship (or don't) differently. They listen to different music. Like different movies. Have different hobbies. I'd even wager to say they hold different values.

They are all (their mother included) on the struggle bus.

I feel this heavy burden sometimes.

What do I do?

I've been praying and asking Jesus - what do I do with this hot mess?

And very clearly I've gotten the answer three times. Yes, I'm resistant to the answer.

This third time was during a viewing of the show Reba. Yes I think God can speak to me through old TV shows. I'm not taking commentary on that.

Reba goes to therapy because it's just a hot mess at her house. Her kids are struggling. Making mistakes. She says "What do I do?"

The counselor says "NOTHING."

As any good mother would, Reba says "Do what?"

The counselor shares, get a hobby. Go see a movie. As far as those young adults in your life.

Do NOTHING.

And so , for the last few months I've been practicing the great wisdom of Reba.

Nothing.

When you do nothing, when you aren't moving - you can find clarity.

I've learned that while society may set the bar as "success" as people having it altogether, that's not success.

I've raised kids (times 3) who can figure things out.

They can pivot.

They can do hard things.

They can make choices that are what is best for them. They aren't pressured to do what may be the norm.

I've taught them to think.

I've taught them that making mistakes is a part of life. It's not the end, it's the beginning.

I've taught them that we love them not for what they do but for who they are.

I've taught them that we can hold different religions, different values, different politics, different all the things and still love each other.

Now, I do nothing.

I put my money where my mouth is right? I sit back and watch them make the mistakes, struggle to find the right path, wrestles with the big questions.

Mama Warriors, I think sometimes we are so busy DOING that we forget to just BE.

We forget that we can't hear God when we're talking.

Sometimes doing NOTHING is exactly where we are called to sit.

In smaller steps, I encourage you to apply that nothing. Do nothing for your kids that they can do for themselves.

NOTHING.

If we raise them to be independent doers, they can be independent thinkers.

Maybe they'll never wear matching Christmas jammies or plan elaborate Mother's Day gatherings, but just maybe on a hot day in May - they will all show up and gift you a picture of them together.

Because you love that kind of thing.

And because in the NOTHING - you've made space for great SOMETHINGS.