Nests

 “Safety is all well and good: I prefer freedom.”

― E.B. White, The Trumpet of the Swan

Earlier this week we discovered that our baby birds had fledged.

Gone. On day 19. Two days before our chart expected them to. We weren't ready. We hadn't said good bye.

I may have had an overly emotional moment outside the bird box.

The nest is empty. So many questions. Where did the unhatched egg go? How does Mama keep going on after one of the babies died just a few short feet from her nest? What now?

I've gone out a few times this week and just looked at this empty nest.

The only "proof" that there was a Mama, that there were eggs and then babies.

As I looked at the nest, it reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of The Middle.

As the Hecks approach Axel's graduation, Frankie (the Mom) and Axel (the son) are consistently at each other. Arguing. Struggling to communicate.

Mike (the dad) tells Franke, "It's designed this way so by the time they graduate, you're ready for them to go. He's supposed to make you crazy."

As I try to get the Xman through the last few days of his Sophmore year, I can see glimpses of the crazy.

He's been driving for four months.

He's begun his second year at the farm working.

He's plugged himself into a new youth group in the last few months.

He's ready to be gone. "Anywhere but here."

Because get this parents - we have rules and boundaries. Are you gasping in horror?

I expect to know things like where he is and when he will be home.

The challenge is.....when I'm not trying to get him to study for his Geometry final ahead of time, or enforce a set boundary......I really do enjoy his company.

He's fun. He's a good conversationalist. He likes to just hang out. He's observant and interesting.

It's a constant struggle between relationship and battles.

The relationship is the most important thing to me BUT not at the expense of his character, safety or education.

A constant slow shift of decisions off me and onto him.

Basketball camp? Your choice - here are the parameters, here's what you will gain, here's what you will miss out on. Your choice.

Dual enrollment? Your choice - here's the information, here's what the class looks like if you take it as a high school credit, here's what it looks like if you dual enroll. Your choice.

Job decisions? Your choice - here's what your responsible for, here's your expenses for car insurance, here's the advantages of white space on your calendar. Your choice.

I'm looking at my empty nest wondering how Mama bird felt when they flew.

Was she ready?

Did she shove them out?

Do they come back to visit her?

Mama Warriors, Mothering has so many seasons. Seasons of waiting for eggs. Seasons of waiting for eggs to hatch. Seasons of intense physical mothering- feeding hungry babies, attending to ALL the things. Seasons of emotional mothering - providing boundaries for birds who want to fly too soon. Seasons where there are no birds to actively mother.

And seasons where you just aren't sure.

The beauty of mothering though is that seasons change.

And He meets us in each season.

If they fly too soon, He has them.

If you want to shove them out of the nest, He has them.

If you never want them to fly, He has you.