Tight Pants

 "The world is too hard as it is without letting tight pants have an opinion on how you are doing, and make it clear that they are disappointed in you."

I went yesterday for my annual physical. It always feels daunting that the first thing they do when you arrive is weigh you.

It's hard to enjoy my mini mom vacation when I begin with my feet on the scale and end with them in stirrups. I'm just sayin.

One of the obvious signs to others that my gastro med is working is that I'm gaining weight. For those that have ridden the roller coaster with me, weight means I'm keeping what I eat.

It also means my clothes don't fit.

Again.

In the last 6 years, I have spanned over 100 pounds of ups/downs and 9 different women's sizes.

It's interesting to me that this idea of weight is tied to my spiritual journey.

Prior to all this craziness, I might have been upset that my pants don't fit. That nothing that I just bought last spring/summer will work this year. That the number on the scale is significantly larger than it was last year.

I might have tied my identity, how I feel about myself, to the number on the scale or the size in my pants.

I've learned that who I am is defined by something far greater than that.

Who I am is defined by how I'm loved. By a heavenly father, by a fantastic husband, by 3 precious children, by my village that pours into me. It's defined by how I love - myself, my Jesus, my people.

Life's too short to be upset about tight pants.

Mama Warriors, as the weather warms, as we drag out the summer wardrobe, I hope you hear me.

If you are not okay with yourself at your current weight, you won't be okay with yourself at any weight.

Let that soak a minute.

Being okay with ourselves is deep in our core. It's about loving ourselves right where we are at. Right now.

It's believing you are enough, you are vaued, you are seen, and you are heard.

It's about embracing the idea that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by a Father who loves us. Right where we are at. Right now.

I challenge you one further - if you are mothering a daughter, please, please, work on loving yourself right where you are at. For we, in our actions and in our words, are competiting with what the world tells our kids about they should look. What defines beautiful.

You can not speak words that say "you are perfect the way you are" while refusing to done a swimsuit or sighing as you look in the mirror. I promise you they are watching you, not listening to you.

If you are not okay with yourself at your current weight, I encourage you to start there. Pray there.

I want each of you to be healthy, to make healthy choices. But I don't want any of you to define yourself by something external.

I want you to love yourself, just as He loves you.

I also want you to buy pants that fit. You are worthy of being comfortable in your own clothes . (Published May 2019)